ApprehendingGrace.com

My mom was rushed by ambulance yesterday from her residence at a local nursing home to the local hospital. She’s made the trip many times, but this was the first time they used the sirens, she told me later.

It turns out that she had a mild heart attack and has a significant infection. She’s now in CCU. But she is alert and otherwise “normal.”

The backstory is that mom had a major stroke ten years ago and has been largely paralyzed since then. Yet her spirits remain high, despite the extreme challenges she has faced. She’s been in and out of the hospital many, many times over the past ten years. I have been convinced that she would died almost every year for during this time. Yet her will to live is strong and she’s still with us. And for that I am very thankful.

But it feels different this time. So much so that my sister and brother are coming in from out of state.

So as I got up and dressed this morning, my thoughts have been occupied with the potential need to make plans. A few minutes ago, though, as I began to feel myself sinking, I realized the error of my thinking. A song came to mind — “Today” by Brian Doerkson. Based on Joshua 24:15 (“…choose this day whom you will serve… But as for me and my household, we will serve the LORD.”), the first line of the song is “Today I choose to follow You. Today I choose to give my best to You.”

Today, I choose to worship God, not the worry over what may or may not happen with my mom. Today I choose to bless Him.

Those of you who have read my other blogs on grieving know that I am a firm believer that grieving is an important process. It shouldn’t be ignored.

Neither should it be allowed to grow bigger than it is. And it’s not time for grieving today. “Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.” (Matthew 6:34, NIV)

Only God knows. And He can be trusted more than doctors and feelings. Because He is good. Very good.

This entry was posted on Tuesday, May 20th, 2008 at 10:50 am and is filed under grieving. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.