I had to re-learn a lesson a couple of weeks ago. It’s a lesson about…well, humility I guess. I don’t think of it as humility, but that’s what it was. Or perhaps lack of humility is a better way to express it.

You see, I sometimes fall into the trap of not wanting people know when I’m not doing so well. I’d be willing to bet that you’re a whole lot like that, too. We like people to think we’ve got it all together. Even when it’s obvious that things around us are falling apart, we want people to believe we’re handling it well. Perhaps it’s because we want to believe that ourselves. But the lesson I re-learned a couple of weeks ago is that the sooner you share your struggles with those who will pray for you, the sooner you’ll receive the spiritual boost you need to get back on track.

A Year Ago
In the middle of January my husband had some medical issues and they really threw me for a loop. When he had a major heart attack last February, I really handled the whole “died on the table” thing pretty well. What I mean by handling it well is that I rarely dwelt on “what might have happened,” or “what’s life going to be like in the future.” I had a confidence that God had been good to me in the past and He would continue to be good to me no matter what happened in the future. Since then, through the various ups and downs of recovery, I have maintained that confidence.

A Couple of Weeks Ago
Until a couple of weeks ago. That’s when Phil began to have some strange and serious symptoms. When he told me about them, I outwardly remained calm (because that’s what I do in a crisis). But from that moment until I came to my senses and asked for prayer, the enemy bombarded my mind with two words: widow and widowhood. I wasn’t dwelling on it – I wasn’t continually letting my mind go to “what if’s” – the words just continually popped into my head unbidden.

Phil shared his symptoms with some friends and they prayed for him and asked me how I was doing. I sugar-coated how I was doing. “OK. Not great, but I’m fine.” I was not doing fine. If I had told the friends that night about where my mind was, they would have prayed and I have every confidence the enemy would have lost the territory he was staking out. But I didn’t.

I am so thankful that we had a ladies’ meeting planned that weekend. I so didn’t want to go. I wanted to stay home alone and eat cheesecake. We were going to watch the Chondra Pierce video “Be Afraid, Be Very Afraid.” (Is God’s timing perfect, or what?) But I knew I had to go – it was a follow on to a retreat I had been a part of planning last November. I surely wasn’t going to share my struggles, though. I was going to go, watch the video, smile, prayer for anyone who needed prayer and come home. Have you ever been in that place? I’m guessing you have.

5 Days Later
After we watched the video, one of the leaders asked “have any of you struggled with fear since the retreat.” Silence. Long silence. I knew I needed to speak. So I did. And of course, the ladies were tremendously gracious. They prayed for me. A long prayer. And then one of the ladies suggested that someone agree to pray for Phil and I each day of the week for the next six weeks! As I sat there in the midst of them (not nearly as composed as I would have like to have been), I began to hear women say “I’ll take Tuesdays.” “I’ll take Fridays.” “I’ll take Wednesdays.” Until all the days of the week were taken. I was overwhelmed with gratitude. What a blessing!

It was about five days from the time Phil told me about the symptoms until I shared with the women, and that was MORE than enough time for the enemy to mess with my head. He got a bit of a foothold, planting a seed of fear that desperately wanted to take root. Even though I wasn’t dwelling on the issue, the unbidden thoughts that continually sprang up began to take their toll. Even though I would immediately (or almost immediately) arrest them and focus my thoughts elsewhere, they occurred so frequently that I was beginning to become paralyzed. (I took me more than a week to write a blog that should have been written in one sitting.) That was a week that I didn’t need to experience. If I had immediately called someone and humbled myself saying “I need prayer right now. I’ve lost my confidence that God will be good to me in the future. I’m afraid of what the future holds. Will you pray for me because I’m not very good at praying for myself right now?” – if I had done that immediately, God would have come to my rescue immediately. The enemy would have had to flee.

Some Battles Need More Warriors
Satan was overstepping his bounds and I was not able to stop him. That’s not a bad thing – it’s why God places us in families. Some battles need more warriors than others. Such battles bring the family of God closer together as we call on Him for another who needs their faith boosted.

It was foolish for me not to speak up sooner. I suffered needlessly, others missed the blessing of being a part of God’s victory and I missed the blessing of being reminded that I have friends who are quick to step in when needed. Fortunately, God provided another opportunity for me to be humble and the best part is…I haven’t thought about widowhood since that evening. (Except to write this blog, of course, and I’m GOOD – honestly, good – no enemy piercing my heart or spirit tonight.)

God is very good and God is very faithful. Blessed be the name of the Lord and blessed be His faithful prayer warriors!

Friends don’t be like me. Humble yourself and share your needs before seeds of fear, uncertainty and doubt are planted and take root.

3 Responses to “Relearning a Lesson in Humility – or Don’t Do as I Did”
  1. Geri says:

    Sandy This is so true and I want to share with your reader. I have a friend I hadnt seen for about 2 months. and when i did see her she had this big long scar on her leg. she had skin cancer and had it removed it went all the way down to her bone. Turns out she has malanoma(not sure on the spelling).And she know me and that i have bible studies and ministries and she didnt call and i told her I could have been praying for her for over a month and could have had lots of people praying for her. So we started pryaing. She was having testing to see if the cancer had spread. after all the testing the cancer has not spread Praise God. However ther is no cure for this type of cancer so they are giving her treatments to burst her imune system. They are making her very sick and she has a long way to go however we have a great and awesome God and i believe he will give her healing. So whatever it is even if its a cold or something small or big call on the Lord and the Lord has many angels out there he calls friends. Make a call prayer is very importan. And please pray for my friend her name is Natalie. In Christ Jesus. Geri

  2. TERRY CAUDILL says:

    Hi Sandy, thank you for your honesty. I struggle with some fear issues, that I have a hard time sharing with others at times. We do want to look like we have it all together. And I always feel like a “bad” Christian when I struggle with fear. I want to be seen as a confident fearless mature woman of God. Well, alot of times the warrior is a child. A fear-stricken child. I do have fear issues and insecurities with medical issues. It scares me to have my blood pressure taken. I don’t have high blood pressure, but the fear of it produces anxiety that makes it go up at the doctor’s office. I hate it. I think there is a root of fear of failure intwined in there too. Please pray for me. Really hard to admit that. I think they call it white coat syndrome, but I know it is intertwined with a lie from satan, not just a syndrome, because I never experienced it until I had some emotional issues that did make it go up for a while. Now satan wants me to believe it will always be that way with a doctor. That I failed. Sounds weird, but I think some might understand it. Anyway, thanks for your honesty, heres a dose of mine.

  3. Sandy says:

    Geri – Sorry for the late response – We do have a great and awesome God! I pray for healing – full, complete healing for Natalie. May Your angels surround her today with peace and may Your presence fill her with life and hope.

    Terry – “A lot of times the warrior is a child. A fear-stricken child.” I love that line – it is so true. Lord, give us courage, forgive us for those times we don’t trust You as we ought (and as we want), and help us apprehend the life in Christ You have for us. And for my sister Terry, I pray that you would remove any sense of failure and replace it with an ability to rest in the knowledge that she is most precious to You.

    Blessings to you both!

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