Me – Old?

I try not to be too self-indulgent in these blogs, but it seems appropriate today. I am fifty-four years old today. I’ve been wondering which makes the lesser impact – fifty-four or 54? It seems like suddenly it’s a big number. Forty-eight didn’t seem like such a big number. Occasionally it occurs to me that I may not live another twenty years! And that seems so short. I can remember when twenty years seemed an eternity.

Believe it or not, this isn’t maudlin in my mind, but I realize that it may come across as maudlin in the reading of it. I’m just sort of amazed that so many years have gone by. Let me encourage you to stick with this blog…we’ll get to some amazing Scripture that is not only true of me, but also for you. And not only on your birthday, but every day of your life.

Anyway, I soften the blow that number (54) sometimes brings by telling my husband that we are accomplishing one of our life-long goals – to grow old together! Can’t accomplish that goal without growing old. Not that I put the “old” label on myself yet, but I am very aware that thirty years ago I applied that label to people my age.

The foolishness of the young!

When I am with a group of people who are younger than me (which happens more and more often these days), I am frequently amazed to realize that I am older than they are. When I’m with people that are LOTS younger than me, it often comes to me as a bit of a shock to my system – “Oh, I’m not their age!” I suppose that’s a good thing. That shock is immediately followed by the shock of realizing that they are probably very much aware that I’m older than they are. At least when I was 25-35, I remember being around people who were 45-55 (of which I’m now at the upper end of the range) and thinking how much older they were than me.

Age brings quite a different perspective on many things. Phil and I regularly lead church services at nursing homes. Being around such aged saints brings another perspective. To most of them, I am still quite young. But whether we’re 25 or 55 or 75, God’s Word is still true and His Word has some amazing things to meditate on when we’re tempted to be pulled down by the passing of time.

My Age Doesn’t Impact God’s Plans

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.
Jeremiah 29:11

To be honest, there are times when I wonder if God will ever fulfill the plans He has for me. Well, I guess to be more honest, what I wonder is if God will ever fulfill the plans I have for me! J That’s when I bow my head and remind myself and God that it’s His plans I want fulfilled, not mine. The flesh wants mine. My spirit wants God’s. I’m confident that the two overlap in the most important areas. At least most of the time I’m confident of that! J I’m guessing you have similar doubts sometimes. What I am always confident about is that I serve a forever-faithful God. When I doubt, it’s me who is unfaithful or insecure, not God. He is always faithful.

I Am God-Created – for My God-Created Purpose

13 For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother’s womb.

14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.

15 My frame was not hidden from you
when I was made in the secret place.
When I was woven together in the depths of the earth,

16 your eyes saw my unformed body.
All the days ordained for me
were written in your book
before one of them came to be.

Psalm 139:13-16

4The word of the LORD came to me, saying,

5 “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you,
before you were born I set you apart;
I appointed you as a prophet to the nations.”

Jeremiah 1:4-5

What great passages of Scripture! I love knowing that God knit me together – that I am His handiwork. I’m not just a bunch of cells thrown together by happenstance. I was woven together and His eyes were upon me the whole time. I was formed by the Master Potter. The word translated “woven together” is a term that relates to the creation of beautiful tapestry of variegated colors. In the Jeremiah passage, the word translated “formed” is a pottery term that describes molding the clay into shape. God is communicating His personal involvement, as if His very hands were in my mother’s womb as I was growing from zygote to fetus to newborn baby girl on March 28, 1956.

After forming me, or perhaps while forming me, He set me apart and appointed me to the destiny He prepared in advanced for me. Jeremiah was appointed as a prophet to the nations. I don’t think that’s my calling (there’s been no indication of that yet, anyway, and I am 54 years old)! Yet God created me perfectly to accomplish what He has planned for me to do:

For we are God’s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.
Ephesians 2:10

Having a purpose gives my life meaning. Knowing I am perfectly prepared to accomplish that purpose gives me confidence and brings peace in stressful situations. I love knowing that I am God’s workmanship! He does good work! I might not always feel like it, but I choose not to rely on feelings. I choose to rely on the Truth of God’s Word.

He Rejoices! He Sings! He Dances! And It’s All for Me!

For Christmas, Phil bought me a plaque that says “On the day you were born, God danced.” I love it! It sits on my dresser where I see it every morning. I’ve been thinking about that plaque a lot today. God danced on this day 54 years ago. Such a thought brings joy to my heart.

I can understand how God would dance over me – it’s not that I’m so good – I’m not – I fall way short of my goals, and I’m sure my goals are way, way lower than His goals for me – yet He still sees me as the precious daughter He formed so many years ago. He also sees me as the woman I am becoming as I continue to pursue Christ. And He sees me as the woman I am in Christ – righteous and forgiven. Those women are worth being excited about – those women are worth dancing for. So when I think of God dancing when I was born, I get excited about how precious I am to Him and how much pleasure I bring Him.

Having said that, I can’t find any Scripture that specifically says God dances over us. But I can come close!

As a young man marries a maiden,
so will your sons marry you;
as a bridegroom rejoices over his bride,
so will your God rejoice over you.

Isaiah 62:5

The word “rejoice” means be exceedingly glad, greatly joyful, make mirth, or rejoice.

The LORD your God is with you,
he is mighty to save.
He will take great delight in you,
he will quiet you with his love,
he will rejoice over you with singing.”

Zephaniah 3:17

In this case, the word translated “rejoice” means literally to spin around. The word translated “singing” – rinnaw – is interesting. It means a shout of joy (or grief), joy, proclamation, rejoicing, shouting, singing, triumph.

Those words carry such emotion that they “feel” like rejoicing that can’t be contained without dancing. When put together with the Scriptural analogy that Christ is the Bridegroom and we are His bride the picture that comes to my mind is that of the groom who lifts his bride on the dance floor and swings her around with great joy. I can see the huge smile and joy on the face of my Bridegroom.

Jesus, right now, is looking forward to the day when we will be face to face. And since there is no such thing as time where He is (something well beyond my comprehension), He is already rejoicing in that day even while He watches over me in my day! Wow!

So those are my birthday musings. Phil had to work 3-11 today, and it’s a rainy, cold day. Some might think that would make for a dreary birthday. It wasn’t. God is too good for that.

*All definitions came from Strong’s Hebrew & Greek Dictionaries, Electronic Edition STEP Files Copyright © 1998, Parsons Technology, Inc.

4 Responses to “Self-Indulgent Birthday Musings”
  1. Lisa says:

    Happy Birthday, Sandy! I loved this post. I’ve been thinking some of those same thoughts about age lately. I feel 25 but realize that 25 year olds think I’m ancient. And suddenly, 75 doesn’t look so far away. And wondering if God’s plans for me will come true, but also thinking they are maybe more MY plans.

    Thanks for reminding me of the great day yet to come when I will see the great joy on the face of the Bridegroom as his children come home.

  2. Don Knaur says:


    As you know, I am farther along in my journey that you are; however, God only knows which one of us is closer to our destination but the odds are I am. I am 63 (according to my wife, the retired English teacher, that is the correct way to represent it. Any number higher than ten should be in numeric format when embodied in written material. (That is in response to your question in the first paragraph.)

    I am of the opinion that we have no way of knowing what God’s goals are for us, unless he danes to tell us and he rarely does. I have learned over the years that some of the most minor actions I have taken have had far reaching affects. God knows what one kind act on our part will lead to, but we cannot fathom it. I don’t know about you, but I am a lousy chess player. That game only has 32 pieces that manouver over 64 squares and I cannot begin to visualize all of the potential scenarios. However God oversees Billions of players (people) that can make Trillions of different moves and knows what is going to happen. That is how I can understand why God refers to us as sheep, which are the dumbest animals he ever blew breath into.

    Since I have no idea what my affect actions will have on the world, I don’t set lofty goals for my behavior. I simply try, sometimes with a great deal of reluctance, to love everyone and to treat them as I want to be treated. I try to use the talents God has given me to make the world more enjoyable for those around me. I once had a preacher that gave a sermon requesting that we don our robes of Christianity and go forth to do the Lord’s work. I’m afraid I took her to task for that message. I told her I believe that true Christianity is not something we can put on, but is something that we need to let shine through from within. I truly believe I have seen that light in both you and Phil, so I’m glad you had a good birthday.

  3. Sandy says:

    Thanks Lisa & Don!

    Don, I’m with you on chess, that’s for sure. I’m not even good at checkers, where you have to look for moves ahead, but at least all the pieces move the same way! When I was a little girl, before computers even existed, I imagined that God must have some kind of computer in the sky that he used to make us do each thing we did. Of course I didn’t have the word “computer”, I just figured it had to be something like that. It’s obvious I didn’t understand free will!

    I do think He reveals His plans for our lives, or perhaps His calling on our lives, in many, many cases. But I am with you that we don’t have a clue about the far-reaching affects of our behavior – both good and bad. God created us to live in community and everything we do impacts the community in which we live. (Community being being the people around us, not “Norwalk” or “Tiffin.”)

    Oh, and I know 54 is the correct way to represent my age – I was just wondering if spelling it out made it seem like a lower number. I’m reminded of the verse from Ecclesiastes “All is vanity and vexation of spirit” (KJV)!

    Blessings to you both.

  4. Maggie Timmons says:

    I’ve been on the “young” and “old” end of group fellowships and find myself now in the “middle” (age-wise). I remember one group I was involved in, the ages ranged from 20’s to 80’s but no one really felt like they were at either end of the spectrum… age had no bearing on the sweetness of the fellowship! We learned to respect the “older” members and embrace the “younger” ones!

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