An Intimate Look at Psalm 139:23
Posted by Sandy in Confidence in God, failure, Forgiveness, Freedom, God's Love, grace, Intimacy with God, Love, Obedience, Trusting God, tags: PsalmsSearch me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts.
Psalm 139:23
There is an excellent blog called “Signs of a Struggle” written by Thom Hunter. Subtitled “compassionate truth for men and women who struggle with sexual brokenness,” it is extremely well written and gives very candid glimpses into the struggle and recovery while providing sound biblical perspectives on such topics as sin, guilt, shame, forgiveness and God’s tremendous grace. I’ve been reading the blog for a little while and wondered about sharing it with others. I’ve come to the point of believing that I am doing those who need Mr. Hunter’s blog a huge disservice by not sharing it.
I’d like to share a portion of a blog titled It Came from Within! I believe this portion of the author’s blog can challenge and minister to everyone. If you struggle with sexual sin or know someone who does (and you probably do whether you know it or not), I encourage you to read his entire blog. Everything following is excerpted from the blog.
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Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts.
Psalm 139:23
He [God] is not busy with someone else. He hears your prayer.
Search me. –Sometimes when I stand calmly before a mirror and focus on my own eyes, I think: “Do I know you?” This evokes moments of honesty, easily diverted with a toothbrush or by plugging in the shaver. God has no such distractions. Ask Him to really search you and He will not look away or busy Himself with the day’s preparations. He created the day and He placed you in it. He sees in and out and every way around.
Know me. – We want people to know what we want them to know, not really know us. God knows us. He knows not only that inner itch, but He knows what happened to us in the world to raise it to a level of irritation that demands we do whatever is in our power to seek relief. He knows that what might have been a bearable curiosity in me, for instance, was fully inflamed to major “I want” status by the double-whammy of father abandonment and childhood sexual abuse. But he also knows the pain some of you may feel because you find yourselves embroiled in a temptation and the only person you can point a finger at is yourself. It may be dissatisfying when there is no one else to blame, but the truth remains the same. Sin is sin. God wants to hear you say “know me.” He already does, of course, but He wants to know you want Him to know.
Test me. – God doesn’t test us the way the world tests us. He’s not the dangle-type, holding something just out of reach to see if we will wear ourselves out lunging along the edge of self-destruction. Remember…He does not tempt. So…can you trust Him to test you? If you asked Him to search you and to know you, then why not let Him test you to see if you know yourself as He does? God tests us to prepare us for victory, not defeat. So…search and know, just like you asked Him to do. Search His word; know His ways. Ask Him to test you. And don’t forget the answers to the bonus question: “trust and obey.”
Know my anxious thoughts. – No wait…don’t. Not those thoughts. Isn’t that the way many of us approach life? Yet, here is the acknowledgement that we will have those anxious thoughts. You can’t hide them, not from God.
I get anxious sometimes. I listen to the reasoned arguments of people on both sides of the strugglers’ “personal problems.” Most of the time I just don’t like what I hear and I want to straighten it all out, make it clear, stop the pain, bring perfect understanding and healing rain for all. And then I realize that if I had it all figured out…then I would have it all figured out. Truth is, even if I did, why would people listen to me any more than they listen to God?
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