ApprehendingGrace.com

A Tribute to My Mom, Leona Jane Miller Parks Vinck

My mom had a stroke sixteen years ago. Prior to her stroke, she had an active life working, dancing, traveling and organizing bus tours for friends. Many of you may remember the Promise Keepers Stand in the Gap rally in Washington DC in 1997. Phil and I took a busload of men and women to it. (We women in attendance served as volunteers.) It was my mom’s suggestion and planning all the way.

Then she had surgery on her shoulder because the bone was infected. They removed most of her shoulder bone and socket. At some point during that first evening after surgery she had a major stroke that no one in the hospital recognized until the next morning. They attributed the symptoms she was exhibiting to coming out of the anesthesia. I’m sure if we were suing people we would have won the case against the very prominent hospital that missed her stroke for more than twelve hours.

Mom’s world instantly changed, and it changed dramatically. The short version is that from that moment on she never walked again, never drove car, never stood on her own and for many years now has not been able to feed herself. Since that time she has required total care. She has been fully paralyzed on her left side and has limited use of her right arm. Having been in a wheelchair for sixteen years she now has chronic pain and her skin is beginning to break down – which often requires that she cannot even get in her wheelchair but must remain in bed while the sores heal.

Today is her birthday. Today I had to tell her that her baby sister died. I drove to the nursing home where she lives to deliver the news in person. Many, including me, were concerned about how she would take the news. On the way to her room I explained to the nursing home staff that I was about to give mom news of her sister’s death on her birthday.

My mom is my hero. Her first words were “that just leaves me and my brother.” That was quickly followed by “I feel so badly for her children because they have now lost both parents.” She went on to say how my aunt is so much better off because she loved Jesus and she’s sitting at his feet and she’s meeting up with her mom and her sister and her first husband and her baby who died in infancy and their favorite aunt and their favorite cousin, and…so many other saints who have gone before.

This wasn’t the pie-in-the-sky “she’s better off now” comment that so many people make when someone dies. Mom was making a statement of fact and adding specifics.

While I was there several staff members stuck their head in the door to wish her a happy birthday and she would say “It’s a happy birthday but I got bad news on my birthday.” They would say they had heard and they were sorry. She would consistently say “It’s sad for us but she’s much happier now. So we should celebrate how good it is for her.”

As I sat and talked with mom this morning, at one point she said “I have so much to be thankful for. Oh, if you could hear my prayers at night, you’d think I was crazy. They’re almost the same every night. I tell God how thankful I am for my mother and father, my grandparents and my aunts and uncles. They all made me the person I am. I thank him that I’ve always had a place to live and food to eat. I’ve never really been without. I thank Him for you kids and my grandkids.” And she went on and on telling me what she’s thankful for.

I was around for a good part of mom’s life. She went through some pretty hard times and it was a struggle to make ends meet. She and my dad went through a very bitter divorce. “Us kids” didn’t always act lovingly toward her. In fact, we didn’t even always think lovingly toward her. (Lord, forgive me.) And for sixteen years she’s been in a wheelchair. She used to love to do crafts. She cannot. She used to love to dance. She cannot. She used to love to go places. She cannot. She used to love to pick up the phone and call a friend. Even that is a challenge and she can’t always do it.

Many would see her life as having no purpose. Those people would be wrong. She lives today to encourage those around her and to build up their hope and faith. When she’s not bedridden, she seeks out residents of the nursing home who are the loneliest and in the most pain and she does anything and everything she can to brighten their day. And every day she teaches me that no matter what your circumstances are, you can experience the joy of the Lord and bring it to those around you. I absolutely love to hear her laugh and every time I am amazed that she does it. In the midst of her constant pain and difficult circumstances, she laughs – big belly laughs – often.

I preach at mom’s nursing home on the first Sunday of every month. Mom wasn’t able to make the church service this month. But she’s living my sermon. The key passage was Colossians 3:1-4.

¹Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is seated at the right hand of God. ²Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things. ³For you died, and your life is now hidden with Christ in God. ⁴When Christ, who is your life, appears, then you also will appear with him in glory.
Colossians 3:1-4 (NIV)

In my next blog, I’ll expand on these verses. Today, just know that Leona Vinck, my mom, lives them every day. And I am a blessed woman because of it.

This entry was posted on Thursday, February 13th, 2014 at 9:22 pm and is filed under Attitude, Blessed Life, Christian Living, joy, suffering. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.