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As our church prepares to participate corporately in an extended fast, several things have been rattling around in my brain:

As we sample from the buffet of life, the more we eat of those things that have no nutritional value, the less room we have for the things that will nourish us.

Of course this applies to real eating – the more ice cream and cake I eat the less room I have for veggies & fruit. But it also applies to all of life’s activities. The more mindless TV I watch, the less time I have for reading or exercising. Now I’m not saying there’s anything wrong with ice cream and cake or even mindless TV. I’m just saying a steady diet of them makes us fat and weak, both physically and spiritually. And if we partake of those things FIRST, we close the door to those other things that can bring us great joy. Lord, help me to make good choices.

    “So don’t worry about having enough food or drink or clothing. Why be like the pagans who are so deeply concerned about these things? Your heavenly Father already knows all your needs, and he will give you all you need from day to day if you live for him and make the Kingdom of God your primary concern.
     “So don’t worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring its own worries. Today’s trouble is enough for today.
               Matthew 6:31-34 (NLT)

If we focus on what we’re giving up instead of what we’re gaining we’ll never be happy.

Which would you rather have – a life of contentment or a life of lack? You can have either life from the same circumstances. Again, I’m not saying that there isn’t real lack in some of our lives. But for most of us, we have a house in which to live, enough food to eat and people who love us. I want my focus to be on those blessings, not on what I lack. As we look toward the fast, I can look at things I might be giving up and feel bad about that, or I can look at what I hope to gain and be excited for things to come. Our culture is so acclimated to looking at what we don’t have and wanting bigger, better and more. Lord, help me to be content with You and not long for all those other things.

for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want.
              Philippians 4:11b-12

One of the purposes of fasting is to strip away all the things that grab our attention and turn it away from God – to help us realize that He is the source of every good and perfect gift and to be content.

Whatever is good and perfect comes to us from God above, who created all heaven’s lights. Unlike them, he never changes or casts shifting shadows. In his goodness he chose to make us his own children by giving us his true word. And we, out of all creation, became his choice possession.
               James 1:17-18

This morning I’ve been humming a song we sang in worship yesterday…

I will wait…I will wait for the Lord. How good is the Lord, to those whose hope is in Him.
I will wait…and let God be God. I will wait, I will wait for the Lord.

(Thanks, Pastor Larry, for writing it.)

Be blessed, all!

As I read through the book of Matthew, particularly chapters 5 through 9, I am struck by how easy it is to fall into establishing expectations about God and about how others should act if they know God. The Pharisees get a bad rap among Christians, and perhaps rightly so…somewhat. You see, if I were there, when Jesus was here on earth, I’m not altogether sure that I wouldn’t have sided with the Pharisees a fair amount of the time!

Jesus was doing and saying things that were totally blowing their minds. Yes, they had it all wrong in many ways but their wrongness came out of a desire to be obedient to scripture as they understood it (and had been taught it). To avoid sin, they had developed a very involved set of rules. Their desire was to not offend God. That’s a good desire. Yet they became slaves to their rules and lost the wonder of relationship with God.

It’s pretty easy for me to be like that. I am a much more disciplined person when I establish “rules” for myself. Having established those rules, sometimes I’m not able to live by them – I fall short of even my own rules. If I am not actively pursuing God in the midst of it all, I can fall into condemnation of myself. The enemy loves that. The point is, it’s not about living by the rules, it’s about pursuing a relationship with God. Sure, it’s OK to set up rules if they help you live the life God wants you to live, but don’t be a slave to the rules and don’t forget God’s grace.

God is all about grace. I ought to be all about grace. He is also exceedingly patient. I ought to be exceedingly patient. But it is so easy to fall into the trap of the Pharisees and establish a rigid set of rules that I believe I “ought” to live by. Sets of rules make it easy to know when I’ve done well and when I’ve failed. But sets of rules also lead to legalism and ultimately make me very much like the Pharisees.

Stage two of this process is when I extend the rules that I’ve established for myself to others. Oops! I’m become more pharisaical by the minute!

A few months ago, a friend and I were talking about changes that occur in the life of a believer and being careful not to place expectations on new believers, but rather extending grace to them as they learn to walk with Christ – allowing the Holy Spirit to do the convicting and changing instead of acting as if our nagging will help the situation. After a few minutes of talking, she said “but we do expect them to change, don’t we? And shouldn’t we?” I didn’t know how to answer her. Because yes, we do expect them to change, to become more like Christ as they grow in relationship with Him, and we should expect it because we know our God is wonderfully able to change even the most hardened person who chooses to follow Him. Yet, her tone and words conveyed a condemnation for those who didn’t change quickly enough to meet her expectations. And I found myself silenced because I know that deep within me, there is a tendency to establish expectations and then be disappointed when those expectations are not met. That’s a polite way of saying deep within me there is a tendency to judge others against my standards. Ouch! It sounded so much better the polite way.

Let me repeat myself: God is all about grace. I ought to be all about grace. He is also exceedingly patient. I ought to be exceedingly patient.

The Ten Commandments not withstanding, God is not about sets of rules. He is about relationship. And relationships develop at different speeds and in different ways. I must be careful to let God lead in each relationship He has, and not try to do the job of the Holy Spirit.

So let me encourage you in two ways: If establishing rules helps you live a godly life, establish rules. Then be willing to sacrifice those rules daily as you continue in relationship with God, because the relationship is always more important than the rules.

God’s love for you lives outside your rules – in other words, when you don’t live by your rules, God isn’t looking down at you and shaking His head wondering if you’ll ever get it right. Don’t let a slip keep you from pursuing God Himself. His love for you is deep and wide and long and high (Eph 3:18), and He has MORE grace to give to you every hour of every day. So you can keep up with those rules you’ve set!

 ⁴¹But as they came closer to Jerusalem and Jesus saw the city ahead, he began to cry. ⁴²“I wish that even today you would find the way of peace. But now it is too late, and peace is hidden from you. ⁴³Before long your enemies will build ramparts against your walls and encircle you and close in on you. ⁴⁴They will crush you to the ground, and your children with you. Your enemies will not leave a single stone in place, because you have rejected the opportunity God offered you.”  Luke 19:41-44, NLT

What struck me at first when I read this Scripture during my daily devotions was the last verse about rejecting the opportunity God offered, or missing His visitation. That was the subject of yesterday’s blog (Rejecting God’s Opportunities, Missing His Visitation). But after finishing the blog I went back and re-read the passage. What struck me then were Jesus’ first words – “I wish that you would find the way of peace…Before long, your enemies will build ramparts against your walls and encircle you and close in on you. They will crush you to the ground.” 

I know that Jesus is talking about Jerusalem and that my hermeneutics professor would blanche at the extension I’m about to make, but doesn’t this sound a lot like how you feel when you are over-extended, when you have allowed yourself to become too busy? Peace alludes you. As your commitments snowball, they slam against you and encircle you and close in on you. You feel as if you will be crushed by them. That has certainly described my life at times.

My friends, that is clearly not what God wants. I am convinced to the core of my being that one of the greatest maladies infecting Americans today is over-busyness — lives jam-packed with activities that leave little or no time for God. Often the little time we have for God is the “left over” time — time at the end of the day when we are too “used up” to hear Him or receive from Him the grace He longs to impart. 

There are periods when circumstances dictate a busier than desired life, but that should not be the norm. When over-busyness has become a lifestyle, making significant changes can be difficult — and sometimes requires radical surgery! I use the word surgery purposefully, because what must happen is that the scalpel must be taken to our schedule (and our spouse’s schedule and our children’s schedule). Over-busyness is a disease that affects the whole family. Parents who feel obligated to be involved in more activities than is humanly possible breed children who feel obligated to be overextended. But it is possible to restrict one’s activities. It’s not only possible, it’s desirable. 

A Simple Exercise
First, identify a time during the next couple of days when you can sit with God for about an hour. Yep! A whole hour to begin to allow Him to set your priorities and enable you to gain a measure of control in your life. To prepare for that time, create a calendar that lists every day of the week and identifies the hours from 6am until 10pm. Those are the hours you have available. Many of you may already be thinking this is impossible because right now you’re only sleeping from 1am until 6am. Not enough time, my friend. But that’s the subject for another blog some day. 

When you meet with God, first pray. Confess that you have allowed your life to become out of control. Confess your desire to live a life based on His leading. Thank Him in advance for the adventure He’s leading you in to.

Then begin the more practical elements of the exercise. If you feel anxious, be sure to stop and pray throughout the process. And remember, no decisions are unchangeable and we’re initially just looking at the coming week, not your whole life!

Block off on your calendar the daily requirements such as eating and working. If you’re a stay-at-home mom, blocking out your “work” time is a little more challenging, but block off time each day when you’re committed to having your children as your sole focus, whether for play, meals, home-schooling or whatever.

OK, the time that’s still available is for all other activities. And guess what! All the activities you’d LIKE to be involved in can’t fit in those available hours! That means you must choose between what is good and what is better. Be a Mary, not a Martha. Jesus told Martha that Mary had chose the “better part.” The first question to ask then is this: When during the week am I scheduling in my “God Time?” Asking this question first ensures that we don’t so overfill our calendars that the only God Time we have is taken out of the time we should be sleeping. This neither honors God nor our families nor ourselves. 

The next question to ask is: What is God’s top priority for me this week? Put that on your calendar. (Note that I said top priority, not top priorities!) It doesn’t have to be super-spiritual. For example, the top priority for me this week might be to visit my mom or to eat healthier. Both activities require blocking out 4 or 5 hours in my calendar this week.

Now make sure that your calendar has family time built into it. If it wasn’t your top priority (it isn’t always and that’s OK), add that time into your calendar now. Do you stay connected with your spouse by spending a half hour every day talking? If so, block that time out in your calendar. Do you spend the first half hour after school gets out listening to your kids talk about their day? Put it in your calendar.

By now your calendar might be getting full and you don’t have any of your activities in yet. That’s the point. Your activities ought to be scheduled for the time you have available for them. They should not be allowed to usurp (and I use that word purposefully) the time that should be given to God, your family, or your own sleep.

But Life Isn’t So Simple
Yes, I know. This exercise was very simple. But I think it’s an important one. It visually demonstrates the need to control our schedules according to God’s priorities, instead of allowing other people or the whims of our emotions to control our schedules. My emotions encourage me to sign up for way more activities than I can reasonably (or even unreasonably) accomplish. I repeat: That is not honoring to God, or to our families, or to ourselves.

Getting From Here to There
Now I recognize that most people will find their calendars over-scheduled and will be at a loss as to how to bring them into some semblance of peace. You can take two approaches: Radical surgery to remove what is undesireable, or gradual healing that comes through pursuing a balanced diet over a long period of time. Both may be required. Neither should be attempted without bathing the whole process in prayer. 

Radical surgery would immediately end all over-commitments, even to the point of renigging on some previously accepted commitments. This is a serious approach, but sometimes appropriate. 

A more measured approach is to weed out current activities by allowing them to come to a natural conclusion and then being firm about not replacing those activities with other busyness. For example, you might be leading a 12-week study in your small group. You might finish leading the study, then simply participate in the small group but not lead it. You may be coaching your son’s baseball team. At the end of the season when that commitment ends, don’t automatically replace it with coaching his soccer team. Pray over your calendar and ask God if that commitment is one that is “good” or one that is “better.”

There’s nothing cut and dry about managing our lives, and I don’t mean to imply that the task is simple. But we are called by God to be good stewards over all that He has given us, and our time is one of the most precious commodities we have. We can choose to spend it or we can choose to invest it. Managing our lives with this simple time management approach, when applied consistently, can bring great change. The consequences of allowing life to manage us can be too severe. I don’t want my life to lack peace or for all my commitments to close in on me and crush me to the ground. I’d much rather recognize the opportunities God has offered me and trust Him to “cover” all those things I don’t participate in. I’ve never believed the claim that you can “have it all.” I don’t even think that God wants us to have it all. He wants us to have what is better. Don’t let the good keep you from the better.

A Final Word
I can hear so many friends saying “but I can’t…” or “I have to…” Yes, you can, and no you don’t have to. It’s amazing how freeing it is to recognize that we are not required to do everything others think (or we think others think) we “ought” to do. Our commitment is to God first and it is clearly not His will that we be harried, hassled, and always in a hurry. With God ALL things are possible — even managing our own schedules.

  One of the things on my prayer list is “what God wants from my life.” I added it one day when I was seeking God about what I should be doing to serve Him. It’s been on the list for a long time. As I was praying the other day, I came to that item and what screamed in my brain was “to love Him.” What God wants from my life is for me to love Him. (Micah 6:8 comes to mind here.)

As I thought about it further, I realized that He’s satisfied with that (i.e., loving Him), but I’m not…and that took me back to the blog of a few weeks ago (Are You Satisfied?)…when God asked me if I was satisfied with Him. Not with serving Him, but with Him. Am I satisfied with Him if it’s all I have or all I do?

I’m a “do-er.” I’m a “get-involved” kind of person. I’m a “let’s throw out some ideas, pray about them, then do something” kind of girl. (And I’m ashamed to admit it, but sometimes I forget about the “pray about it” part.)

So being satisfied with God and God alone is hard. It’s difficult for me to be “satisfied” if I don’t experience accomplishment. And accomplishment has always come from action. I don’t know yet how to connect the positiveness I get inside from experiencing accomplishment with being satisfied with God alone.

My gut reaction is to say “OK, my new goal is to develop a plan for being satisfied with God. That will (1) lead to being satisfied with God, and (2) give me a sense of accomplishment.” Somehow, I don’t think that gets me where I want to go.

But God made me the way I am and He loves me the way I am – a planner and a do-er and a lover of God. How do I reconcile the three? Do they need to be reconciled? I don’t know. But I do know that both God and I want me to be more satisfied with Him and Him alone and have less of a need to experience a sense of accomplishment. (While not becoming lazy in the process… because quite frankly it’s really easy for me to get lazy.)

I think spiritual disciplines like meditation are called for! So my new goal is practice meditation? Oops, there that goal reflex again.

I also think that worship transcends this argument. I am fully satisfied with God in times of intimate worship. No need for accomplishment. Just being with Him satisfies. But then I get back to my “real life” and my achievement orientation kicks in.

Please don’t think I’m dissing achievement. I’m not. Achievement is good and we were created to do the good works God has prepared in advance for us to do (Eph 2:10 — it’s one of my favorite verses!).  

 I’m still working on this issue. No real answers in this blog, just some ruminating…