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You thrill me, LORD, with all you have done for me!
I sing for joy because of what you have done.
                Psalm 91:4 (NLT)

Wow! Am I “thrilled” at what the Lord has done for me? I am challenged by the word “thrill.” We talk about “thrill” rides - those that cause a bit of fear within us, take our breath away, then make us laugh with excitement. Does what God has done for me cause that reaction?

If not, I don’t think it’s God’s fault. I think perhaps it’s because my focus is more on the challenges of the day instead of the goodness of my God. I am seeing the petty problems in front of me instead of the tremendous grandeur of the long view of my life.

It’s not that I am some great person or have done such great things. Quite the contrary. Rather, it is the uncountable good things God has done for me and in me that is the “tremendous grandeur.” It is the beautiful clothes and jewels God has given me. You might see the shorts and T-shirt I have on. But God has clothed me in tremendous grandeur.

He has taken a rebellious young woman, focused only on herself and the gain she would someday have and turned her into a less rebellious middle-aged woman, focused at least somewhat on others and the gain she might help them have. None of that is to my credit, but it is all for my good.

He has worked in me a satisfaction that was sorely missing, taking away a striving that robbed me of joy. Again, this was not of my own doing, but a gift from God. And I am truly thrilled by this…it’s just that I often forget about it in the midst of the troubles of the day. Lord, help me to remember.

I usually don’t strive any more. I still pursue excellence, but I am usually able to remember that only God is perfect and He is immeasurably happy with me whether I am able to achieve all I want to achieve or not. That makes me able to relax and experience the thrill of all He has done for me. When I am striving, when I am uptight about accomplishing what “needs to be done” I also see only the shorts and T-shirt. Lord, help me to stay focused on the grandeur that I might always be thrilled with the life you’ve given me.

“The LORD said to Moses, ‘Tell Aaron that when he sets up the seven lamps in the lampstand, he is to place them so their light shines forward.’” Numbers 8:1-2 (NLT) 

I was struck by this detailed instruction to Aaron to set up the seven lamps so that their light would shine forward. Duh! It’s not like we want to see backwards, right? And it struck me. Last week I did some journaling about looking backwards and the negative impact that can have on my life. I don’t want to be a backward-looking person. Who’s the “Duh” now? I guess it’s me sometimes? We’re to place our lamps so that they shine forward, lighting our path, directing our vision forward, not backward. 

Jesus said “The eye is the lamp of the body…” (Matthew 6:22)

Let your eyes shine forward, not backwards. Comand your mind to set your eyes to shine their light forward. A little retrospective is a good thing – evaluating one’s behavior and performance for improvement is a good thing. But once the moment of evaluation has passed (notice I used the word “moment”) your forward shining lamp will leave that event in darkness and your focus should be where the light is shining – into the future that God has for you. 

Paul put it a different way: “No, dear brothers and sisters, I am still not all I should be, but I am focusing all my energies on this one thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead, I strain to reach the end of the race and receive the prize for which God, through Christ Jesus, is calling us up to heaven.” Philippians 3:13-14 

We are called upward, not backward. We’re called to look to Christ, not to look at our past failures and successes (both can trap us). It is this upward/forward looking that gives us hope. It is this upward/forward looking from “whence my help comes” (Psalms 121:1-2, KJV) 

A search on the phrase “look forward” in my New Living Translation of the Bible, found 25 uses of it, all in the New Testament. We are to be a forward-looking people, keeping our eyes on the One who holds the future in His hands and who has laid out that future in a way that we cannot even begin to imagine. So I feel compelled like David to speak to my own soul at times: “Why are you so downcast, O my soul? Put your hope in God” (Psalms 42 and 43, NIV) 

Friends, let me encourage you to set your lamp so that it shines forward. Look into the future God has for you. It’s better than you can begin to imagine.

 ”God blesses those who realize their need for him,
for the Kingdom of Heaven is given to them.”
      Matthew 5:3 (Jesus is speaking) (NLT)

“I said, ‘Plant the good seeds of righteousness, and you will harvest a crop of my love. Plow up the hard ground of your hearts, for now is the time to seek the LORD, that he may come and shower righteousness upon you.’”
      Hosea 10:12 (The Lord is speaking) (NLT)

“⁷When I had lost all hope, I turned my thoughts once more to the LORD. And my earnest prayer went out to you in your holy Temple. ⁸Those who cling to worthless idols forfeit the grace that could be theirs. ⁹But I will offer sacrifices to you with songs of praise, and I will fulfill all my vows. For my salvation comes from the LORD alone.”
      Jonah 2:7-9 (Jonah is speaking) (v7 NLT, v8 NIV, v9 NLT)

There’s a sermon forming in my spirit from these three verses. It’s not quite fully formed, but you all get to read it in it’s beginning phase:

“When Jonah had lost all hope”…”God blesses those who realize their need for Him”…”Those who cling to worthless idols forfeit the grace” God wants to pour into their lives…”it is time to seek the Lord.”

It is time to let go of (not cling to) old hurts and old habits and even old victories - all become idols that we look to…that we cling to…that become excuses for not doing what God wants us to do…for not being who God wants us to be. They are idols and if we let go of them, God has tremendous grace He wants to pour into our lives. Grace to forgive others…grace to break old patterns of behavior…grace to turn toward Him.

God blesses those who realize their need for Him and gives them the Kingdom of Heaven! (The Kingdom of Heaven here and now, not just in the sweet by and by.) Now is the time to seek the Lord, that he may come and shower righteousness upon you.

After Jonah 2:9, comes Jonah 2:10 - “Then the LORD ordered the fish to spit up Jonah on the beach, and it did.” (NLT) God’s grace, God’s unmerited favor, saved Jonah’s life and then went so far beyond that and worked through him to save a nation! Grace the double-powered prayer. Not only what God pours into our lives, but the working out of that in our lives.

If we first stop clinging to worthless idols…If we first recognize our need for Him…If we first seek the Lord.

Wow! Make it so, Lord. In my life first. Amen.

This week has been crazy and I haven’t dealt with it well. Wednesday I was working hard to meet a deadline that didn’t get met. (It’s still not met and today’s Saturday.) Not meeting deadlines with customers is rare for us and something I consider highly undesirable. In addition, my computer was doing all kinds of things it had never done before. Working in programs I use every day I learned many new features by accidentally hitting the wrong keys and causing the software to do unwanted things. (Thus requiring much time to figure how to return the screen to its previously unmolested condition.) This is not a good thing when deadlines are looming.

The day was a harried one to say the least. Looking back, I realize that my mind was essentially working on two tracks throughout the day - one track was the project at hand, the other was a constant barrage of what needed to be done, how it wasn’t getting done, how I needed to call the client and how I didn’t want to do that.

Ouch! That’s no way to get through a day victoriously! What I realized late on Wednesday is that if my mind can stay on two tracks at once (and it obviously can), I certainly have the power to choose the second track. Yes, the work at hand must fill the first track, but the second track should have been about the goodness of God and my confidence in Him, not about my anxiety over not finishing the project on time. At any point in the day, I could have switched from the anxiety track to the grace track - you know, the one that grabs hold of my confidence in God. There are any number of things I could have done to arrest my brain and point it in the right direction. I did none of them.

Lord, forgive me. Forgive me for falling into the trap of believing that it all depended on me. Forgive me for stressing. Forgive me for not purposefully bringing you into the center of the situation. Help me to choose Your confidence over the enemy’s anxiety.

Wednesday was a classic example of not taking my thoughts captive. 2 Corinthians 10:3-5 says this:

³Indeed, we live as human beings, but we do not wage war according to human standards; ⁴for the weapons of our warfare are not merely human, but they have divine power to destroy strongholds. We destroy arguments ⁵and every proud obstacle raised up against the knowledge of God, and we take every thought captive to obey Christ. (NRSV)

I didn’t even try to use my weapons last week. I just let the enemy have a day of victory. But God is greater, and having repented, I want to do better next time. So I’ve been gathering a list of things I might do that would help me jump from the anxiety track to the God track. Here’s my notes. Maybe you can add to them.

• Pray continuously. I know that wasn’t happening last Wednesday. I was fretting instead of praying.
• Take a prayer break - don’t just pray in the background while working, stop working and pray. This might require taking a short walk down the hall. For two or three or ten minutes, stop working and pray.
• Play worship music in the background while working. This often turns my mind toward God in the midst of chaos.
• Play worship music in the foreground - take a worship break. (Pick your song carefully - do you need a soft worship song to mellow you into God’s presence, or do you need a loud victory song?
• I almost always walk away from my desk at lunch. It helps me to gain perspective in the middle of the day. I didn’t do that last week.
• Call a friend. I should have stepped away from my desk to call a friend. My friends would have told me to get over it and trust God. I needed to hear that last week.
• Instant message a friend - it would have had the same results as calling a friend.
• Take a short walk. It would have not only had physical and mental health benefits, it could have turned me toward God.

Now I know that last week I would have strenuously objected to most of the things on this list saying I didn’t have time for them. But that would have been a lie. Everything on this list takes less than ten minutes, some as few as two or three minutes. Unless you’re in the 2-minute countdown for the next space shuttle launch or in a true split-second life and death situation, you can take two to ten minutes to turn your day around. Since I’m not involved in the space shuttle program and I don’t work in the emergency room of my local hospital, so can I.

The point is to use these weapons that are at our disposal, not to keep them on the shelf. I especially like the way the New Living Translation writes the beginning of verse 5: “With these weapons we break down every proud argument that keeps people from knowing God.”

Had I employed my weapons, I would not have fallen into the trap of believing that meeting the deadlines (and thus ultimately the success of our business) all fell on my shoulders (aka, a very proud argument). Had I employed my weapons, I would have seen God victorious in the day - I would have known Him and His mighty power. Instead, I allowed my proud arguments to keep me from knowing Him on Wednesday.

One other idea…I’ve decided to use the ring of the telephone at work as a reminder to praise God. Often when I’m over-busy, the telephone is a source of stress. That’s wrong thinking. Without the telephone I wouldn’t be able to talk to the clients God sends our way. The telephone is a source of blessing, giving us opportunities to meet our customers’ needs in a way that brings glory to God. Sounds like a good reason and opportunity to praise God. Imagine how different my day will be when I thank God every time the phone rings. I’m looking forward to it!

I am praying through the 2 Peter 1:5-9 passage (Add to your faith goodness, to your goodness knowledge, then self-control, then perseverance, godliness, brotherly kindness, and love), taking a different quality each week. (See my blog An Effective Life.) Having gone through the entire list over the past several months, this week I am again praying for faith. As I prayed this morning I was praying simply “Lord, increase my faith.”

Now the truth is I’m running a bit late today and I wasn’t fully engaged in the prayer. I have an employee arriving in 45 minutes and I need to prepare some things for her to do. (That’s my “excuse” today, yesterday it was that I had a very early morning meeting and needed to leave the house by 6am, tomorrow it will be something else…Lord, remove my excuses, make me so hungry (even desperate) for You that You become the “excuse” for not attending to those other things.)

So back to praying on auto pilot this morning. As I prayed “Lord, increase my faith,” a thought appeared in my mind. “In what areas do you want your faith to be increased?” Wow! I’ve been at this long enough to recognize that such thoughts are rarely generated by something within myself, they are usually born of the Spirit. Wow! God is speaking to me. God is asking a question of me. I’m reminded of the passage in Mark 10 in which God asks blind Bartimaeus “what do you want me to do.” It seems totally obvious to everyone what Bartimaeus would want. But God looks at him intently and asks “what do you want me to do for you.” I find it fascinating that God gives us the opportunity to look inside ourselves (if we will take it) by stopping, pausing, and asking us what we really want.

So I am left with the question from the Lord. When hearing from the Lord personally, I am compelled to journal (and now many of those journal entries become a blog). Often I will sit down during our worship time in church to make notes about what God is teaching me. It is so precious, I don’t want to lose it or forget it. I want a record of His Voice to me.

And now today, the question is still left hanging. I realize that I am avoiding the Lord, choosing to not take the time to look inside myself. Instead I am writing about God’s goodness, His willingness to speak to me in the midst of my own haphazard. distracted devotion this morning. Yet God in His goodness interrupts me from stumbling along the path I was going and says “What do you want me to do for you?” I’m so glad He’s the God of interruptions!

This is Sandy, signing off, to visit with God.

 Leviticus 2:

⁴“When you present some kind of baked bread as a grain offering, it must be made of choice flour mixed with olive oil but without any yeast. It may be presented in the form of cakes mixed with olive oil or wafers spread with olive oil. ⁵If your grain offering is cooked on a griddle, it must be made of choice flour and olive oil, and it must contain no yeast. ⁶Break it into pieces and pour oil on it; it is a kind of grain offering. ⁷If your offering is prepared in a pan, it also must be made of choice flour and olive oil…

¹³Season all your grain offerings with salt, to remind you of God’s covenant. Never forget to add salt to your grain offerings.

What impresses me as I read this passage is that the people were involved in a process of preparing their offering for the Lord. It wasn’t an act of simply writing a check and signing it while the offering baskets are being passed, hoping that you finish your check-writing before the basket gets to you. It was something that took some time and required involvement. I can imagine creating the cakes or wafers of grain and olive oil, being careful to not put in any yeast and careful to include salt. I can imagine a child watching his or her mom making the offering, a process which would have been much like making the daily bread yet very different. The child brings the yeast over because, having watched momma make bread all week, he knows the yeast is next.

“Momma, here’s the yeast. It’s next.” He says earnestly, so proud to remember, so eager to show how well he has learned.

“No, child, not today. Today we are making an offering to give to the Lord. It must have no yeast in it. You remember the story we tell on Passover. Our ancestors left the slavery of Egypt in such a hurry that they did not have time to put yeast in their bread. This special bread reminds us of God’s goodness to us by freeing us from slavery. So we make carefully it, but then we give it back to God as a way of saying ‘Thank You.’”

“Child, bring the salt instead. The salt reminds us of the Covenant we have with God. That He is our Lord, that He is first in our lives, that He has delivered us and will deliver us. That He is good to us and that He is our God. We must never forget our covenant with the Lord. The salt in our offering reminds us of all this.”

And so the process of preparing the offering is a time with God and for God. A time of reflection, not just the rushed effort of completing a task.

I am challenged, and I offer the challenge to you…the next time you are preparing your tithe or offering to the Lord, don’t rush through it. Set aside a little time before you give your offering to prepare it (and yourself). Remember God’s goodness to you. Remember His covenant with you. Make it a holy time.

Over the past ten years I’ve learned more from my Mom than over the previous two decades! Who’da thunk it? You see, Mom had a stroke in May 1998. She has been severely handicapped since then. Yet she continues to enjoy life and be a blessing to those around her. (Read Saturday’s blog, “The ‘Good Humor’ Lady.”)

Admittedly, there have been times over the past decade when darkness has overwhelmed her and she’s asked me why God allowed this to happen and why God doesn’t just let her die. At first I had only vague, theoretical answers. Now I can point to real, verifiable answers.

The theoretical is not to be scoffed at. Good doctrine is important and should provide the brick and mortar structure that experience decorates. But like the saying goes, a person with a theoretical argument (even a good “theological” one) doesn’t stand a chance against a person with a real personal experience.

My doctrine teaches me that until God takes us home, He has a purpose for our lives. We haven’t accomplished all the good things He has prepared in advance for us to do (Ephesians 2:10). Some might look at my Mom - unable to get herself out of bed, requiring total care, even unable to feed herself- and wonder what purpose can God possibly have for her now? What can she possible accomplish? What value can she have in our world today? My doctrine also teaches me that God promises to use all things for good for those who love Him and are called according to His purpose (Romans 8:28), and that He chooses (yes, consciously, intentionally chooses!) the weak things to confound the strong (1 Corinthians 1:27-31).

My experience validates that God has used and is using Mom’s horrible situation to touch many around her and to teach me much about life. As a tribute to both my God and my Mom, let me share with you some of what I’m learning.

I’m learning to bless (and honor) my mom. Mom calls me on the phone, sometimes several times a day, usually with nothing but “foolishness” to talk about. She’ll often share the “joke of the day” with me - but she almost always messes up the punchline. I usually don’t even get the joke (or see any humor in it if I do get it), but she laughs and laughs because she knows the joke and probably doesn’t realize that she left a few words out of the punchline. So I bless her by laughing with her, because to explain a joke is to lose its effectiveness but to laugh together is a good thing. That I don’t understand her sense of humor is pretty irrelevant. We’re having fun together - she by laughing at the joke, me by enjoying my mom’s craziness. Sometimes my husband Phil will tell her he doesn’t get the joke. She’ll pause for a second and then say she doesn’t get it either and they both laugh! (I feel compelled to point out here that Mom’s stroke did not affect her mental capacities. She’s just having fun with life, whether she gets the joke or not.)

I’m learning patience. When she calls me on the phone for the nth-time-today to talk about nothing but “foolishness,” I’ve learned to turn away from my work, shout into the phone so she can hear me and relax while she tells me of her latest activity at the nursing home. Sometimes I feel myself get anxious because it’s the middle of the workday and I have deadlines to meet. Yet I am learning to turn away from that anxiety and toward someone I love to hear about things that matter to her.

I’m learning compassion. It’s either that or turn my heart off as I visit the nursing home each week. Visiting the nursing home costs me much emotionally, but at every visit I am impressed by the significant need for the simple gift of holding a hand, praying with someone or just sitting and talking for five minutes. It’s what I call “cup of water” obedience. I don’t have to do BIG things for God (like be a missionary to Zimbabwe - I call that “King Kong” obedience). I only have to give a cold cup of water to someone who is thirsty.

I’m learning sacrifice. I’m doing things with and for Mom that I would never have imagined. Mom always loved crafts. I don’t. But in order to share things with her when the possibilities in her world are so limited, I purchase crafts and we work on them together. I’m doing all the work, of course, but Mom sits next to me and knows instinctively how to do them and instructs me accordingly. I’d much prefer to read and follow the directions. But I humble myself and “OK, Mom, what should I do next?” (I’ve drawn a line at using a glue gun.)

I’m learning that sacrifice is the currency of heaven and the language of love…but I digress…that’s another blog-to-come.

I’m learning the importance of enjoying life…even when it’s not very enjoyable. I’m not very good at that. Mom is very good at that. She turns every event into a party. I used to think this was part of Mom’s “foolishness.” I’ve learned that it is part of her strength.

I’m learning to be friendlier than I really am and nicer to others than I really am. Everyone matters to Mom. In many ways she reflects the love of Christ much better than I do. She is a person who truly sees the best in everyone and treats them accordingly.

I’m learning that having a deep trust in God doesn’t always look the way I expect it to look. Mom has a simple, usually unspoken, unpretentious faith. When she arrives in heaven, I imagine Jesus planning a clown parade in her honor and everyone will be wearing funny hats and will have their own noise-maker. This would not be heaven to me, but it surely will be for Mom.

I’m learning to honor people for serving in professions that I cannot fathom serving in.

I’m learning to love better.

All this from a teacher who can no longer feed or dress herself. Wow! I love you, Mom!

Juxtapositions often speak to me — two things happening one right after another that strike the same chord, or that are so different it draws my attention. This week, it was the juxtapositions of the “I will’s.”

On Sunday afternoon my husband and I lead the church service at the nursing home my mom lives in. Phil preached on the first verses of Psalm 34. On Wednesday evening we lead a small group teaching on developing intimacy with God. During part of that teaching we looked at the book of Hosea.

“I will  bless the Lord at all time, His praise shall continually be in my mouth.” Spoken by David, Psalm 34:1, NRSV

 ”I will go after my lovers; they give me…” Hosea’s wife Gomer, Hosea 2:5b, NRSV

I was struck so strongly by two things:

1. Both David and Gomer are making a choice of the will — “I will” they say. Choosing comes before doing. Granted, sometimes there is very little time for decision-making, but there is still a choice made before an action is taken. The purpose of training is to help us make right decisions, especially when we seem to have only time to react.
2. The stark contrast in their choices. David chose to worship God. Gomer chose to be unfaithful to her husband. If I’m going to make a choice (and I’m going to, every minute of every day), I want it to be David’s choice.

As I put my pen to paper (fingers to keyboard) to reflect on this, some other things jump out at me. (Such is the nature of meditation. The things that come to mind immediately and cause you to meditate on a subject are typically just the tip of the iceberg. God has so much more to show you if you’ll take those first few things and roll them over in your mind a bit.)

1. Both David and Gomer verbally expressed their wills. Speaking something (saying it out loud) brings it to life. It gives it more “substance.” If I only think “I will go to the store today,” it’s just the beginning of the reality of that thought. When I tell my husband “I will go to the store today” the thought has life. He now has the expectation that I will go to the store today. He might change his plans as a result of my spoken intention. Certainly the plan has more reality in my life. If I don’t go to the store today, I’m not doing something I said I would do. Speak your “I will’s” out loud and they will have life. (Remember, God spoke the world into existence, He didn’t think it into existence. Genesis 1)
2. David willed to bless God — that’s a “giving” action. Gomer willed to follow other lovers who would give Her what she wanted — that’s a “taking” action. Serving God is a giving lifestyle, not a taking lifestyle. Choosing to serve God is choosing to live a giving lifestyle and to not live a me-first, taking lifestyle. And of course the paradox of the Christian life is that giving of ourselves gains us so much more.  Only in God’s economy does dying = abundant life.

I quoted the following verse just a few blogs ago but must do so again. This blog would be incomplete without it:

“Choose this day whom you will serve…But as for me and my household, we will serve the Lord.”  
                Joshua 24:15 (NRSV)

⁴⁰The people of Israel had lived in Egypt for 430 years.⁴¹In fact, it was on the last day of the 430th year that all the LORD’S forces left the land.⁴²This night had been reserved by the LORD to bring his people out from the land of Egypt, so this same night now belongs to him. It must be celebrated every year, from generation to generation, to remember the LORD’S deliverance.
                              Exodus 12:40-42 (NLT)

“So this same night now belongs to Him.” God establishes times that belong to Him. His word says that the Sabbath, the seventh day, belongs to Him. Do you observe one day a week as belonging to the Lord? I don’t want to be legalist and say that it has to be any specific day because we live in a different world than the Israelites did. Our society doesn’t stop on one day of the week to allow everyone to observe a Sabbath on that day. Not being legalistic, being flexible brings both freedom and a need for discipline: freedom to observe a Sabbath on the day of the week that best fits your lifestyle and schedule, and discipline to not let the day go by unrecognized.

The day already belongs to Him. Will you take time this week to recognize the One who owns it?

  ⁴⁰The people of Israel had lived in Egypt for 430 years.⁴¹In fact, it was on the last day of the 430th year that all the LORD’S forces left the land.⁴²This night had been reserved by the LORD to bring his people out from the land of Egypt, so this same night now belongs to him. It must be celebrated every year, from generation to generation, to remember the LORD’S deliverance.
                                                  Exodus 12:40-42

God had reserved that specific night as the night of deliverance for His people. God has reserved specific times for our deliverance. If you’re going through a trial, know that God has set aside a specific time for your deliverance. If you’re in bondage to some situation, know that God has set aside a specific time for your deliverance. Like the Israelites, be looking toward God and praying for your deliverance. Be obedient in the interim, but know that He has not abandoned you, any more than He abandoned the Israelites.