ApprehendingGrace.com » Attitude

Disciplining Myself to Celebrate!

Sandy — Sat, 04 Sep 2010 21:27:19 +0000

Preface 1 – A Word about the Timeline
I apologize that the timing on this blog isn’t quite right. I began to write it on Wednesday, but haven’t found the time to finish it until today. Rewriting the beginning to match the true timeline with today would be awkward. Yet printing the blog with a false timeline bothers me. It seems untruthful. So, please don’t hold me to dates, but the blog reflects how it happened. It just took me a few days to get it all on paper (so to speak).

Preface 2 – A Word to the Men
Guys, I suspect that you would never characterize yourself as “whining.” It’s way too girly, I know. I also know (because I’ve been married to one of you for a very long time) that your equivalent of whining is getting annoyed and venting about it, i.e., grumbling. It’s that pre-anger stage you go through. So when you see the word “whine” in this blog, substitute “grumble” or “complain with annoyance/anger.” The primary difference between a whine and a grumble is the pitch of our voice!

From Celebration to Whine
Two weeks ago today I had surgery. Two days later I learned that I do not have cancer! Hallelujah!

Today I just want to whine!

I was preparing to meet some friends for breakfast – girlfriends who get together monthly to encourage one another to reach higher heights in business and life. When I began to think about the opening conversations we’d have, I realized that in response to the question “how are you” I just wanted to whine. I wanted to tell them about the minor discomfort and disabilities associated with recovering from the surgery.

How very self-centered I am! How ungrateful I am! Less than two weeks after learning that my life will not be significantly impacted by medical issues in the coming months, less than two weeks after not receiving what could have been life-threatening news, I just want to complain because I have a few restrictions and some discomfort! I don’t like the picture this paints of me.

So I am disciplining myself to celebrate.

It doesn’t seem like the words “disciplining myself” should be combined with “to celebrate” but they do. Celebrating usually includes some degree of festivities – special food, exuberance, balloons, laughter, and dancing. It’s happy face time. Discipline doesn’t include festivities – it brings to mind the sober, perhaps even somber face, as we get serious about things and exercise self-control. Yet there is a valid, even vital relationship between them.

The purpose of disciplining ourselves – of exercising self control – is to bring our actions in line with God’s guidelines for living. One of those guidelines is to quit complaining – stop the whining!

Do everything without complaining or arguing
Philippians 2:14 (NIV)

When we live according to God’s plan, our soul prospers and joy, from the depths of our spirit, follows. Is it an immediate consequence? Not necessarily. But it is a promised one. We live with the consequences of the choices we make, so from an earthly perspective our circumstances don’t necessarily change immediately. But in the spiritual realm and in our heart, changes begin to happen.

What kinds of things happen when we choose to celebrate instead of whine? In the spirit realm, we are blessing instead of cursing. We are speaking our “amen” to the good things that God has done – we are making them known, giving Him praise and saying “thank You” all at once. We are cultivating a grateful heart. And we are being obedient – we are disciplining ourselves to live as God instructs us to live.

Give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.
1 Thessalonians 5:18

And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.
Colossians 3:17 (NIV)

When I discipline myself to celebrate, I am embracing the lifestyle and character of Christ. I am becoming more like the One to whom I pledge my allegiance and declare my desire to follow. And in so doing, I apprehend the grace God has for me in that area. He will enable me to do that which I have set my heart to do when it is in accordance with His will.

On the other hand, when I choose to whine and complain instead of celebrate, different things happen in the spiritual realm. In the following verse, Paul is referring to men and women who have rejected God. Paul writes that God has revealed himself to them but they have not responded to Him:

²¹For although they knew God, they neither glorified him as God nor gave thanks to him, but their thinking became futile and their foolish hearts were darkened. ²²Although they claimed to be wise, they became fools.
Romans 1:21-22 (NIV)

²¹Yes, they knew God, but they wouldn’t worship him as God or even give him thanks. And they began to think up foolish ideas of what God was like. The result was that their minds became dark and confused. ²²Claiming to be wise, they became utter fools instead.
Romans 1:21-22 (NLT)

I believe there is a connection between an ungrateful heart and a spiritual darkness that brings confusion and foolish actions. When we discipline ourselves to consistently and regularly rejoice over what God has done in our lives, we reinforce in our minds and spirits truths about who God is and how He interacts with His people. When we allow complaining and whining to take center stage, we reinforce lies that the enemy is whispering in our ears – God doesn’t love you, God doesn’t provide what you need, God isn’t interested in blessing you, God is not good to you. Your thinking becomes “futile” and you begin to think up “foolish ideas” about God, His character and His actions. Ultimately, your heart and mind become “dark and confused.” That sounds a lot to me like the description of depression. I’ve experienced serious depression. Dark and confused does a pretty good job of describing it. I didn’t like it. I prefer the happy face of celebration. That means no whining.

The Ubiquitous Caveats
Please know that I am not talking about sharing legitimate needs with friends and asking them to pray. We should always be quick to do that. And when my need to whine threatens to jeopardize my long-term attitude, that becomes a prayer request – not the things I want to whine about, but the fact that I have lost a grateful heart.

Also, please know that I am not minimizing the recovery from clinical depression to simply celebrating and not whining. Clinical depression is a serious condition that requires more than this simple discipline. I am saying, though, that resisting whining will help the healing process and any step you make toward celebrating will help you apprehending the healing grace God has for you.

A Call to Greater Love
Finally, as I thought about this whole issue, I realized how guilty I am of allowing others to whine in my presence. How many times have you said to a friend, or had a friend say to you “I just want to whine a little.” I would bet that the most common response, “Go ahead, girlfriend. You can vent with me.” It’s well meant – giving an ear to hear and a shoulder to cry on. But isn’t there a time and place to say “Friend, I love you and if you need prayer, I want to pray for you. But I also want you to experience all God has for you. First, let’s spend some time celebrating what God is doing in your life”? I’d like to encourage all of us to help one another “grow up” in Christ by helping one another be better than we sometimes (in weak moments) want to be.

Five Unrelated Things I Learned This Weekend!

Sandy — Mon, 16 Aug 2010 00:12:11 +0000

Don’t take on the emotional burdens of others. Yes, we are called to bear one another’s burdens, and that means to provide physical help where possible and to bring those burdens to the Lord on their behalf. It doesn’t mean guessing or imaging what their emotional response is and taking it on as our own. My mom was in the hospital this weekend, the same weekend of a family reunion that she had been counting the days to. I was so sad for my mom missing the reunion. Yet every time I talked to or saw her, she was fine. I kept thinking “how very sad she’ll feel while everyone is at the reunion and she’s in the hospital bed alone.” It turned my world gray for a time – and she was fine! How foolish of me to take on that unnecessary burden. I’m 54 years old, mom has been totally paralyzed on her left side and has had limited use of her right side for more than a dozen years…and she still teaches me things. I want to be like her when I grow up!
Do your best and then have confidence that God’s grace will come through for you! This is especially true when the ground under you seems unstable or the mountain in front of you too high. God’s grace is sufficient and His power is made perfect in our weakness. (2 Corinthians 12:9) The key is to truly have confidence in God – which means stop fretting and look forward to what He will do! (I can’t always do it, but it’s a great way to live – when I’m able to appropriate that grace, life is good, no matter what happens!)
The enemy lives in the shadows. God operates in the light. The enemy operates in the shadows – the “what ifs,” doubts and fears. To extinguish the shadows, turn up the lights – worship, read or meditate on Scripture, sing or hum your favorite hymn, remind yourself of God’s great promises and His unfailing faithfulness. Do whatever it takes to turn up the lights. (John 3:19-21, 8:12)
God’s people are very good. They have your back in this world. And God has your back in the spiritual realm. If you don’t have a church home – one that you attend regularly and where you know people and are known by them – start your search for one immediately. Without a church family you set yourself as easy pickin’s for the enemy.
We really do have a lot of power over how we feel about and respond to life. Like I said earlier, I’m 54 years old. That means I’ve stood in lots of lines in lots of stores. This evening I stood in a relatively short line with the absolutely slowest cashier I’ve ever encountered. I was tempted to get frustrated. After thumbing through two magazines, I was even more tempted. That’s when I noticed the guy in front of me. He had a memorial shirt on for someone who had died serving our country in March of this year. He looked tired, but he waited patiently. It encouraged me to let go of my own agenda and simply wait and smile. I realized during this process that if I had continued on the route to frustration, I would have left that line ten minutes later with an annoyance that would have stayed with me well into the evening. Instead, I left smiling and humming praises to God. I felt good about smiling at the very slow cashier – she probably doesn’t get many people smiling at her. I felt good about conquering frustration for the moment. And I felt really good about the results – feeling blessed instead of annoyed. Gotta love that!

So, faithful readers, I don’t know if any of the above speaks to you, but it seems like a lot to learn in a weekend. God is good! Blessings on your upcoming week!

Romans 8:28-30 – The Me I Don’t Even Recognize, Part 2

Sandy — Wed, 05 May 2010 03:12:09 +0000

²⁸We know that all things work together for good for those who love God, who are called according to his purpose. ²⁹For those whom he foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, in order that he might be the firstborn within a large family. ³⁰And those whom he predestined he also called; and those whom he called he also justified; and those whom he justified he also glorified.
Romans 8:28-30 (New Revised Standard Version)

Yesterday we looked at verse 28 – God’s promise to work things together for God for those who love Him and pursue Him. Today we’ll begin to look at verses 29 and 30. This is where it gets exciting!

Predestined to be Conformed – It’s a Done Deal!
Setting aside the sometimes controversial question of predestination, let’s unpack what verse 29 says.

For those whom he foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, in order that he might be the firstborn within a large family.
Romans 8:29 (NRSV)

If you love God, if you are called according to His purpose (verse 28), God has predestined you to be conformed to the image of His Son – Think about that – You have been “programmed” to become like Christ. Is Christ loving? (Yes!) You are predestined to become loving. Is Christ compassionate? (Yes!) You are predestined to become compassionate. Is Christ forgiving? (Yes!) You are predestined to become forgiving. Does Christ know what the Father wants Him to do? (Yes!) You are predestined to know what the Father wants you to do!

Read through the Gospels. Everything you see Jesus doing and being – God has predestined you to do and be!

What an encouragement that is for me! It even changes my perspective on some difficult areas of my life. I am programmed, I am predestined, to respond in love, forgiveness and compassion! That’s not my self-image. I know it’s how I know God wants me to respond, but it’s not how I think of myself as responding. But now I see that it’s not only how God wants me to respond, it’s how God has programmed me to respond. To respond otherwise, is an aberration – it’s not who I truly am. So I can begin to think of myself in those terms instead of any other way.

Sometimes it’s easy for me to think of myself as less than God has predestined me to be. Sometimes I think of myself as unforgiving or uncompassionate. Perhaps your self image says you are stubborn or lazy. Christ is neither of those things. So if your self-image includes those characteristics, your self-image is incorrect. (In other words, you’ve bought lies the enemy has been feeding you.) God has predestined you to become like Christ.

When I think of myself as a sinner, it is easier for me to sin. Now don’t get me wrong. Yes, I am a sinner, as are you and everyone else on this planet of ours. But when I get specific – when I think of myself as a liar, for example, it becomes so much easier for me to lie. If I think of myself as a truth-teller, however, it becomes much more difficult to utter things that are not fully truthful. So if I think of myself as conformed to the image of Christ, I think of myself as a truth-teller. When I think of myself as lazy, it becomes much easier for me to waste time than if I think of myself as being about my Father’s business. If I see (and define) myself as stubborn, it’s easier to justify holding a grudge than if I see myself as merciful, compassionate and forgiving.

How we see ourselves has everything to do with how we respond to people and circumstances. I’m convinced that if we see ourselves as the finished product – that is, conformed to the image of Christ – that we will respond to people and circumstances more consistently with the character of Christ. I am excited to be a person who has the character of Christ instead of what I’ve walked around with for too many years. I am excited that I am patient and loving and kind and merciful and compassionate and forgiving.

Lord, change our self image! You have promised that we will be conformed to the image of Christ. Help us see ourselves in the light of that truth!

Tomorrow we’ll look at some exciting aspects of being called!

Notable Quotes: Attitude

Sandy — Fri, 26 Jun 2009 02:02:33 +0000

At any moment in life we have the option to choose an attitude of gratitude, a posture of grace, a commitment to joy.
          Tim Hansel

Attitudes are capable of making the same experience either pleasant or painful.
         John Powell

Through What Lens Are You Viewing Life?

Sandy — Sun, 21 Jun 2009 00:59:15 +0000

I attend a business networking meeting weekly. This week, the conference room in which we meet was decorated in a fun, tiki-island theme for a children’s program that was to begin shortly after we left. I arrived early to find strings of shells serving as a curtain at the doorway, a tiki-bar just past the shell curtain (used as a registration booth, no doubt), lots of netting, and colorful posters and table cloths. Arriving early also afforded me the opportunity to watch as others arrived. Reactions varied considerably from “How fun!” to “What the…..?” There was the woman who saw the theme and started dancing and the man whose sour expression showed his disapproval. (I wonder – was his disapproval at the foolishness of the decorations, at our use of the room while it was decorated for the children’s program, or something I wouldn’t imagine. Or perhaps his expression was simply revealing his insecurity at walking into the transformed room and I interpreted it as disapproval. Perhaps I should have asked him.)

It was fascinating to watch each person arrive at the meeting, and God used it to reinforce a theme he seems to be hammering into me lately: It’s all about our perspective, and our perspective is affected by and affects our attitude.

Perspective has a lot to do with what lens through which we’re viewing life.

Most of the time I need to use the super-wide angle lens. When looking through this lens, I can see the bigger picture and I often ask the question “in light of eternity, what does it matter?” Most of life’s little annoyances melt into the background when eternity is in the foreground.

When things get really tough, I have to switch to the more focused lens – the one that allows me to see only one thing, and that Thing must be Jesus. If I focus on the issues at hand, my world dissolves into chaos of one sort or another – questions that begin with “how” and “when” and “who” and “why,” and statements that begin with “if” can quickly turn my mind and emotions into a chaotic jungle of twisted vines and branches. That’s when the single lens is needed – the one that looks at the single, true Vine.

If you’re Resting at the River’s Edge with us, you read the following verses this week:

¹⁶Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. ¹⁷For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. ¹⁸So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.
2 Corinthians 4:16-18

What a wonderful passage! “Therefore, we do not lose heart!” It can be easy to lose heart when we focus on the world around us. Paul gives the secret for not losing heart – “we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.”

Lord, help me to see the unseen, to capture it in my spirit, and to let it serve always as the lens through which I walk through life. Yes, I maybe wasting away inwardly, whether from the stresses of life or simply from growing older, but let me always be renewed day by day as I focus on You and not on the circumstances of my life.

I want to be one of the people who walks through the door and says “How fun!” I want to be one of the people who sees the unexpected changes in my surroundings and enjoys them! I want to experience my life as part of the great adventure God has for me here on earth. That is the perspective, the lens, through which I want to see and live life. Will you join me?