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I’m in Southern California this week with my husband. It’s the place I spent the first four years of my adult life. It’s the place where I spent the first four years of my marriage. It’s the place of my birth – my rebirth, that is – I came to know Christ and was baptized here. It’s the place where I stopped being an atheist.

This week, Phil and I have visited with friends from the first church I attended as a believer, the first small group I was a part of, the first friends I had after becoming a Christian. We’ve also visited with Phil’s aunt and uncle who “parented” us when we were 2400 miles from anything and anyone familiar. We’ve eaten at restaurants we ate at thirty years ago. On Sunday we’re visiting the church in which I was baptized. Well, it’s not quite the same church, but it has some of the same people in it and it meets in the same building. We’ve marveled at how different the world is now than it was thirty years ago. (When we left CA, no one had a PC or a VCR or a cell phone. WalMart and Starbucks didn’t exist. We drank Tab instead of Diet Coke.)

As Phil and I sat at dinner last night – El Torito’s on Redondo Beach Pier – I was overcome with emotions. Phil saw me struggling to hold back the tears and asked what I was thinking. When I told him it was hard to put into words, his response was “You’re a professional writer. Give it a try.” So this is me trying.

• God is so very good and I have been so very blessed. He has been so faithful during the past thirty years.
• As we live our lives, every difficult situation or challenge seems so urgent, so immediate, and so serious. And, of course, they are. Yet in hindsight, they really aren’t. As I looked back on all the situations that caused me grief over the years, I can’t help but see the hand of God in so many of them and the perfect timing of God resolving them. So today I hear God whispering in my ear, “Trust Me. You could have trusted Me at the very beginning of each situation and missed so much of the stress and heartache you experienced. So trust Me now.”
• I was so young thirty years ago! Yet I’m sure I didn’t think I was. What 23-year-old doesn’t think they know everything?
• Being a part of a local church is so very important. It grounds us. It provides a community of many generations that gives perspective and wisdom, if we’re willing to listen. I remember one example of this quite clearly. My husband’s vacation had been canceled unexpectedly, squelching the plans we had made to go to San Francisco for a couple of days. I was depressed. (Yes, it was one of those little challenges that grew out of proportion.) I remember an elderly member of the congregation listening to my tale of woe and saying simply, “You’re young. You’ll have many more opportunities to go to San Francisco.” My perspective was immediately changed. And I eventually made it to San Francisco.
• The only thing that lasts is the impact we’ve made in people’s lives. As introverts, Phil and I have to force ourselves to be social. We’re happy living our lives alone with one another. It’s not God’s best for us, though. God’s best is interacting with His children and those who are not yet His children, allowing them to help us become more like Christ and allowing God to use us to help them become more like Christ.
• God has changed me a lot in the past thirty years. I bet you’re like me: Sometimes it feels like we haven’t changed much and we carry around the same old problems and issues and insecurities and doubts. It seems that way because we’re always with ourselves – but when we have the opportunity to take the long view, we can see more clearly that God is, in fact, shaping and transforming us into the man or woman He wants us to be.
• If God can do this much in the first thirty years I’ve known Him, how much more can he do with the next thirty?

I’m a blessed woman.

But all of these things, with just a few of the details changed (all right, maybe lots of the details, but none of the principles) are true of you, too. God is so very good and you are so very blessed. I don’t know your current life situation, but I know that you are blessed by God. I know that Christ died for you and that God wants to bless you with eternal life and an intimate relationship with Him. Beyond that, He wants to walk beside you, helping you make right decisions, helping you get through wrong decisions, and helping you become the man or woman He created you to be. That’s the kind of God He is. And He is unchanging – that means He doesn’t change over time and He doesn’t change how He responds to different people. What He’s done for me, He will do for you.

Today, February 1, 2010, I find myself pondering the date. That’s partly because Phil & I have a date scheduled for tomorrow – somewhat of a tradition at our house – to celebrate Ground Hog Day. We’ll eat garlic sausage, watch the movie Ground Hog Day and just generally have fun with the holiday. But it’s more than that. The first month of the new year is over and I find myself asking questions

• Have I begun to take hold of the eternal life to which I’ve been called?
• Have I listened for God’s voice more diligently?
• 8.3% of the year is over! Did I spend that 8.3% glorifying God in all that I did?

I can tell you the answer to the last question is clearly “No, not in all that I did.” Yet, there is a slow, gentle excitement growing in spirit – I can feel God working even though I can’t put my finger on it specifically. I am becoming dissatisfied with “life as usual” and with many of the ways I’ve “lost” time over the past year. Being aware of unhealthy or sinful patterns is the first step toward repenting of them. God is making me aware of such patterns and nudging me toward change.

Two Examples
I’d like to share two examples with you, but I do so with some trepidation. In my heart of hearts, I’d like you to believe that I have it all together! Of course I don’t. And I’d like you to believe that I’m an incredibly mature, godly woman. I’m not. I am a sinner, struggling to apprehend all that God has for me while still needing to overcome my selfishness, laziness and many insecurities. So, friends, I ask that you extend grace to me as I share these examples.

God is Challenging How I Use My Time
A few days ago, I wrote this in my journal:

A new experiment – What would it REALLY look like if I believed that ALL my time was God’s time? If I REALLY believed that God was in control of my time? (And on course, if I REALLY gave Him full control of my time?) I don’t know if I could sustain such an experiment for more than a few hours… What would my life look like if I REALLY trusted God with every minute and followed His leading?

Let’s start now and see what it looks like. I’m scared, that’s true. But let’s give it a try!

I’m sure we’d all like to believe that God owns our time, but when I took a hard look at how I spent mine, I couldn’t in good conscience say that He does. So for a day, I never went from one task to another without pausing to pray and consider what God wanted me to do next. The result? Some normalcy, some rebellion (I did what I wanted to do anyway) and some peace (when I listened to God, not when I did my own thing). The next day I forgot the experiment! (Amazing how much I can forget while I’m sleeping.) But the thought has come back to me periodically and I have been more conscious of how I’m spending my time (or should I say “God’s time”). In my heart of hearts, not only do I want you to believe I’m perfect, I also really want to follow God more closely and be in constant fellowship with Him. He’s beginning to bring that desire to the front of my mind more frequently and I am being obedient to respond to it more quickly – even in the midst of life’s daily priorities, whether they be work priorities, family priorities or my personal priorities.

God is Reminding Me to Listen and Watch for Him
Our small group came up with an assignment for this week: Look for “God Sightings” each day. God Sightings – circumstances in which God is moving or has moved in your life. It might be to bless you, whisper something in your ear, or convict you of sin. Who knows? Just keep your eyes and ears open for “God Sightings.”

If we believe that God is at work in us conforming us to Christ’s image, if we believe that God leads and guides us, and if we believe that God wants to bless His children, we really ought to be able to recognize His work in our lives on a daily basis. Yet for most people, it’s not as it sounds. In grad school I had a class called “Spiritual Formation.” As a part of the curriculum, we were required to journal every day what God was doing in our lives. Again, one would think such an assignment would be easy for grad students preparing for ministry. Few if any of us found it so. Thinking about this over the past several days, I’ve concluded that there are two reasons that I can’t fill pages and pages with God Sightings each day: (1) most of the time I live my life oblivious to the spiritual realm, and (2) I take the things God does for me every day for granted. I don’t want either of those things to be true about me.

Some times God has to hit me over the head to get my attention. I don’t want to be that way. I want to be ever attentive to Him. But that comes with practice and I don’t practice it enough. God is reminding me to practice!

I’m thankful for the woman in our small group who suggested we look for God Sightings this week. I’m pretty sure her suggestion was a God Sighting – His way of reminding me that it’s something He’s been nudging me toward. And I’m trying to be diligent to pause regularly to ask “is this what You want me to be doing right now, Father?” I’m afraid my independent streak deceives me into believing I can do things on my own and make my own decisions. I don’t want to live independent of God.

How about You?
How closely are you walking with God? Is He really in control of your time? Do you see Him working in your life? May I encourage you to spend some time in prayer over the next couple of days? Ask God to help you grow closer to Him. Appreciate and thank Him for the many, many things He does in your life each day. Ask Him to make you more aware of them.

Imagine how different your life would be if you were aware of the things God does for and in you each day!
As I’ve said (perhaps in a round-about way), I want to live in that knowledge. How about you?
P.S. Here’s an example of one woman who sees God in her life every day – it may seem an unusual way to see God every day, but God has revealed Himself to me in similar ways.

God led me to write the last two blogs in our “Taking Hold of Our Eternal Life” series on being free from condemnation. (Here’s the first blog.) (Here’s the second blog.) As I finished the second blog, I became acutely aware that the blogs were full of encouragement and exhortation to believe God’s Word, accept His forgiveness and walk in freedom from condemnation, but short of practical ideas about how to do that. This blog seeks to give you some practical ideas for walking in the freedom you have been given.

1)  Speak and read God’s Word aloud.

Consequently, faith comes from hearing the message, and the message is heard through the word of Christ.
Romans 10:17 (NIV)

If you want faith to believe that you are forgiven, speak and read God’s Word aloud so that you actually hear the Word as well as read it. There is something about God’s Word being spoken and God’s Word being heard that ignites our faith. My last two blogs contained many Scriptures you can use as a great starting place.

2)  Refute the arrows of the enemy with Truth.

Jesus used Scripture to fight the temptations of Satan – we can do the same thing and expect Satan to flee. For example, if the enemy begins to whisper in your ear that God doesn’t really love you, remind him that “God so loved me, that He gave His only Son to die for me.” (John 3:16) When the enemy whispers lies in your ear, respond with Truth.

3)  Study what Scripture teaches about who you are in Christ and how much God values you.

You can’t speak Truth against lies unless you know the Truth. Stepping out from under the shadow of condemnation and accusations can be difficult. When you become convinced about who you are in Christ and how very much God loves you – how wildly passionate He is about you – your healing will accelerate.

4)  Surround yourself with positive, affirming people.

The enemy does a good enough job trying to tear you down. Don’t hang with people who try to help him. If you can’t avoid it, you’ll need extra positive people around you.

5)  Share your need for positive encouragement with a few good friends and pray-ers.

In other words, be willing to be transparent with a few friends. I’ve always found that once I get some good friends on my side, especially those who pray for me, the enemy has a lot harder time getting through the prayer net they put around me.

6)  Practice positive, biblical self-talk.

While this is similar to reading Scripture aloud and refuting the arrows of condemnation with truth, it has a slightly different slant. Make it a habit to regularly drown out the negative voice in your head with a new positive voice. Wake up in the morning and remind yourself “I’m a child of the king, and a co-heir with Christ.” Throughout the day remind yourself of things such as:

• God has created me for His pleasure.
• He has a plan and a purpose for my life.
• I am created in His image and have eternity in my heart.
• I am fearfully and wonderfully made. God’s plans for me are greater than my hopes and dreams.
• God wants to use me today.
• I am the apple of His eye.
• When God looks at me, He sees His precious child.
• Through Christ, I can do all things He calls me to do.
• God has uniquely gifted me.

7)  Forgive yourself for past sins, inadequacies, imperfections and errors in judgment.

God already has. Unforgiveness toward yourself is fertile ground for the root of condemnation to take hold.

8)  As you begin to heal, minister to others out of your woundedness.

Condemnation shouts “Shut up! Sit down! You don’t deserve to be in the game!” But God’s Word says to comfort one another with the comfort we’ve been given. The truth is that some past situations gives us greater authority to help others heal in the same area. Additionally, many people will seek out someone who has already found victory in an area they are currently struggling. As you begin to heal, courageously step out in faith to minister to others. You’ll find that it helps your own healing to take hold.

We want to read articles or blogs and experience a changed life. It doesn’t work that way. It takes hard work to overcome unhealthy patterns, but your diligence will be rewarded! God is faithful. Begin to take steps that apply God’s Truth to your behavior, and He steps in with supernatural grace to sustain you and reveal Himself more fully.

One last tip: Don’t try to do all these things at once. Pick just one of these ideas and begin to implement it. Once you’ve got that one down, add another. Keep adding new behaviors as you become firmly grounded in each. Over-achievers may try to attack the whole list, but that usually results in none of them being implemented well and the over-achiever experiences even more condemnation from having failed to step out from under condemnation! Don’t let the enemy win this one!

What is This “Eternal Life?”
By guest blogger, Phil Hovatter

Fight the good fight of the faith. Take hold of the eternal life to which you were called when you made your good confession in the presence of many witnesses.
1 Timothy 6:12

I’d guess that most Christians think of eternal life as life in Heaven — you know, “pie in the sky in the sweet by-and-by.” I believe that if we think of this eternal life only as a future thing, we miss much of the blessing it offers us for the here-and-now.

In John 11:25, Jesus said, “I am the resurrection and the life.” Taken in the context that it was spoken (the resurrection of Lazarus), He means that this eternal life starts right now. Yes, Lazarus will be raised to eternal life on the last day, but Jesus also brought him back to life the very day He spoke these words. Eternal life is something we can take hold of here and now. It doesn’t start when we die. It starts here and now for all those who trust in Jesus for the life that only He can give.

So what is this “eternal life?”

• Eternal life is the Jesus-authored life. Scripture says that Jesus is the author of all life. In John 14:6, Jesus told us that He is the Way, the Truth and the Life. He went on to make a significant statement: “No one comes to the Father but by me.”
  • Eternal life, then, is a life lived through Jesus that gives us access to God the Father and the heavenly realm. Access to God is not possible without Christ.
• Eternal life is the Christ-centered life. As we focus on Him, we gain His eternal perspective on the events and situations that come our way.
  • Eternal life is all about living out, experiencing, walking in all that God has for us. In this earthly phase, that’s going to mean times of suffering and pain as well as times of joy and pleasure. But James instructs us to take a different view of these things and to count the suffering and pain as pure joy because it builds godly character into us which helps us to draw closer to God (James 1:2).
• Eternal life is also a cross-centered life. The cross is the means by which Jesus purchased eternal life for us. Because our sin was great, the price He paid to redeem us was great.
  • The challenge for each of us is to walk worthy of the price Jesus paid to be able to offer His eternal life as a free gift to us. Part of the life He is calling us to is to die daily to ourselves. It’s a paradox that our eternal life involves dying daily, but there you go – it’s true nonetheless.

In this present earthly life, there are only two things that last forever: the Word of God, which will never pass away, and human beings, all of whom are created in the image of God. So those two things must be our focus – they must be priorities for us as we walk out eternal life.

This morning as I looked at our Resting at the River’s Edge reading schedule for December, it finally hit me…2009 is almost over! Last year the Thanksgiving and Christmas season came in with a quiet, holy anticipation. I so enjoyed it. Yes, the season got busy, but because it had been ushered in so majestically (not by me, by the Lord working in my heart) the entire season had a holiness or a Christ-filled sense about it. I’ve been waiting for that holy anticipation this year. It hasn’t happened (yet).

So as I pondered over our reading schedule for the remainder of 2009 (I’ll post it later this week), it finally hit me – the year is coming to a close. The wonder of Christmas hasn’t hit me yet, but the end of the year seems imminent. What a year it has been! Perhaps this pondering is especially appropriate for this Thanksgiving week. I hope you’ll indulge me as I look back at 2009.

To start, I thought I’d go to my pre-2009 blog. I didn’t remember what I had written, so I went looking and found a blog titled Trusting God in 2009. Without meaning to brag, I have to say that I was so blessed by reading the blog. Not because it was well written or incredibly insightful, but because God used it to allow me to see:

• that what I had written was God working in me to prepare me for the year to come; and
• that God had enabled me to live out the blog.

The blog was an encouragement for all of us to put our trust in God, not in ourselves or the economy or anything else on this earth, and it ended with Psalm 20, in which David prays for God to meet us in our times of need and to give us the desires of our hearts.

As I read the blog, I was reminded about the times in 2009 when I was enabled to trust God:

• When my husband had a major heart attack in February, I was able to trust God for Phil’s life and health. I am continually thankful that I am not a widow. And I am incredibly thankful that God enabled me to trust Him throughout the process.
• When we had little or no income throughout the year, I was able to trust God for His provision and over our finances. Our business has been exceedingly slow this year and Phil missed quite a bit of work with his heart attack. Yet God has somehow made it possible for us to pay our bills. He has a way of stretching money when there is no money to stretch! And He has enabled me to know that He will provide and I truly haven’t worried about the issue.
• When all the smaller things in life happened throughout the year – you know, all those little issues that work their way in between major challenges – God has been so very faithful and has enabled me to trust Him. Not perfectly all the time, but when looking back over the year, I can give thanks for seeing Him strengthen my faith! He has set my feet upon a rock and I have not been moved. What a great God we serve!

I was also reminded of God’s great goodness to me. He has given me a desire of my heart this year when He enabled me to complete my Master’s degree and be ordained.

Life is busy for me right now, and I’m guessing it’s busy for you. May I encourage you to take time and remember where you were last year at this time and all that God has done for you in the past year? It’s a great way to prepare for Thanksgiving.

As I shared with Phil God’s goodness in preparing me for 2009 by urging me to trust Him, I had tears running down my face.  I was rejoicing at God’s goodness when I said “and I was able to do that! Undoubtedly one of the most difficult years of my life, and as we near the end, I can say ‘I trusted God in 2009!”

Phil looked at me and said “Let’s do it again in 2010!” (I love having a husband who always challenges me to grow in ways that God wants me to grow!)

Will you join us? I know it’s an early invitation, but let’s agree today to trust God in 2010! He’s shown Himself faithful and trustworthy and good. As for me and my house, we’re going to trust the Lord. We hope you’ll join us!

I love the Lord! This is a super crazy week! A super crazy week. Long, long work hours. It will probably be our busiest week of the year at work. Our community is engaged in a 24/7 prayer watch with community worship every evening. I’m involved in planning a ladies’ retreat that will be this Friday and Saturday. I didn’t get my grocery shopping done last week so we have no milk, bread, bananas (a staple in our house) and a long list of other things. My husband has been fighting a cold and I have felt the fatigue from it, although thankfully not the sinus and chest congestion. It is a super crazy week! And I’ve wondered how I would be able to write a blog (or two!). Writing blogs on a regular basis is a priority for me…but so are lots of other things!

So mostly, I’ve committed to not worrying (the theme of our retreat, coincidentally) and to do my best to sit back and watch God work it all out…all the while moving with what feels like warp speed from one task to the next. Are those two things possible in the same moment? Can I sit back and watch God work while I’m working and moving at a high rate of speed? Well, watch this space for more on that. There’s bound to be a future blog about it.

But back to loving the Lord. Now that you know the back story, let me tell you how the Lord is surprising me with joy. Sunday was the last day for signing up for our ladies’ retreat. There were at least 50% more people signed up than we expected! Praise God! (Right?) Well, we had planned a retreat that was going to be small and intimate in nature – one in which we sat together and shared what God was teaching us. One with lots of time for laughter and tears. No lecture format. There’s a point at which that format doesn’t work, though, and I’m afraid we’ve passed that point in attendance, so I’ve been wondering how to deal with it. It’s the top item on our prayer list for our next and last retreat planning meeting (which begins in less than two hours).

Yesterday as I mused about the situation (notice I am specifically not using the word “worry” because I am refusing to do so – I was simply wondering what God might do and I was beginning to pray for creativity) – anyway, yesterday as I mused about the situation, God made me laugh! He impressed upon me what His perspective must be of all the little plans we make. We’re almost like children playing grown-up – like the little girl playing “mommy” or the little boy playing “daddy.” He’s not deriding our efforts, in fact, I believe He is blessed and honored by our best efforts to bring Him glory. But we are His children, and I think sometimes He watches us in amusement as we “play” grownup. I’m OK with that. In fact, I am happy to bring my Savior amusement!

Then this morning…Late night, early morning, but I sat at my desk, bowl of oatmeal/12 grain hot cereal in front of me and water at my side, ready to greet the day. I took a deep breath and opened my Bible. I took a deep breath to help me resist the cry of all that was to be done and decided to continue my reading in Isaiah. I made it nine verses. Isaiah 19:9 struck me:

^“Those who work with combed flax will despair,
the weavers of fine linen will lose hope.”

Improbable verse to be struck by, right? Well, what struck me was not some deep spiritual significance or detailed meaning of any of the words…well maybe some of the latter…what struck me was that I read the first line as “those who work with com-bed flax will despair.” What in the world is com-bed flax? What is com-bed? Is it some different kind of flax? (That would be the two syllable kind of flax – you know the com-bed flax!) I must have blinked then because as I was scrunching my brow try to figure out what the word com-bed meant, I finally saw that it was the word “combed” – as in comb your hair which is something I barely did this morning! It made me laugh out loud.

Thank You, Lord, for laughter in the midst of deadlines. Thank You for helping us see that life is not so serious and important that there’s no time or room for expecting  joy and laughter.

Now I’m going to go greet the day with a smile on my face. How about you?

³⁴ Righteousness exalts a nation,
but sin is a disgrace to any people.
Proverbs 14:34

¹⁰ When the righteous prosper, the city rejoices;
when the wicked perish, there are shouts of joy.
¹¹ Through the blessing of the upright a city is exalted,
but by the mouth of the wicked it is destroyed.
Proverbs 11:10-11

If you live in America, please vote today.

Father, we pray for Your standard to be upheld during today’s election. May the righteous prevail so that the nation may prosper. We ask that You show mercy and bless our nation.

⁹And this is my prayer: that your love may abound more and more in knowledge and depth of insight, ¹⁰so that you may be able to discern what is best and may be pure and blameless until the day of Christ, ¹¹filled with the fruit of righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ—to the glory and praise of God.
Philippians 1:9-11

I love Paul’s prayers, and this is one of my favorites. As I read it this morning, what struck me was that we would be able to discern “what is best” – not just what is good or what is better, but what is best. I love it that God has what is best for me held in reserve just waiting for me to discern and choose it.

I have never wanted to live a mediocre life, and I bet you haven’t either. This Scripture points to an extraordinary life – one that choose the best. A mediocre life makes choices that are OK, but not excellent.

I am reminded of Paul’s words to the Corinthians, and they flow so well with his words to the Philippians:

^12bAnd now I will show you the most excellent way.

¹If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. ²If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. ³If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing.

⁴Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. ⁵It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. ⁶Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. ⁷It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

⁸Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away.

¹³And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.
1 Corinthians 12:31b – 13:8, 13:13

The most excellent way is love. It’s what Paul prayed for the Philippians. Go back to our first passage:

⁹And this is my prayer: that your love may abound more and more in knowledge and depth of insight, ¹⁰so that you may be able to discern what is best…
Philippians 1:9-10a (emphasis mine)

How is it that they (and we) would be able to discern what is best? It is through love that grows deeper in knowledge and depth of insight! Love is the most excellent way because it never fails. It is never stilled and it never passes away.

To my detriment, when I think about making excellent decisions, I don’t typically ask “which choice represents perfect love?” If I want to lead an extraordinary life, if I want to make the best (most excellent) choices, that life and those choices must be rooted and grounded in an abundance of love.

I think I’ve got some work to do! Father, help me!

While considering the issue of stopping the misfires of my brain when I’m trying to read God’s Word or enter His presence, God brought to mind several interactions I’ve had with children and young adults over the past few years. I’d like to share them with you.

From the Mouths of Babes…
One young friend came up to me recently and stood looking at me expectantly. When I asked how she was doing, she launched into a long, animated (in my mind, anxiety-producing) discourse about how busy she was. She didn’t say anything wrong, per se, but remembering the conversation hits me like a slap in the face. As I re-hear her words and remember her demeanor I realize that she was reciting her crowded schedule (which included being too busy for breakfast) to impress me and win my approval.

She is not alone. God brought to my mind other interactions in which teens have recited their busy schedules in an attempt to seem more grown-up or to impress the adults in the room. In each case, the things they were doing were good things, but what has come clearly into focus for me is the very high value that has been placed on having a busy schedule, rather than placing the high value on the activities themselves or even lack of activities so that we can spend more time face to face with the eternal God.

…Come the Values of the Adults
Children learn to value what the adults around them value. Our children are learning that busy-ness carries a high value. I wonder if they also see that quietness is a high value. I wonder if they see that sitting at the feet of God is a high value. I think in many cases they do not, because they see the adults around them willing to overload their schedules and adjust their time with God to do any of a number of things, most of which do not rise to the level of interrupting our time with God.

As I recall these conversations, I’m convicted about the part I’ve played in reinforcing the value of a busy schedule for these young followers of God. I’ve reinforced it by the way I’ve responded to them and by the example that I’ve set. I’ve communicated that having a busy schedule carries a high value. Perhaps more to the point, I’m convicted about what my over-busy schedule says about me.

What Does Your Over-Busy Schedule Say About You?
Our over-busy schedules may say a variety of things about us:

• We need to be busy and involved in many things to feel important.
• We need to fill every moment of every day so that we don’t have time to deal with the hurt that’s inside.
• We don’t know how to identify those things God has called us to so we jump into everything without first attempting to discern how God wants us to spend our time.
• We know what God has called us to, but we don’t know how to say “no” to those things He hasn’t put on our plate.
• We have a large appetite for activity – we enjoy many things – but we haven’t disciplined ourselves to make only the best choices.
• We are unwilling to trust the results to anyone else, including God.

The list surely isn’t comprehensive, but I get stuck on that last one.

Is God All Sufficient or Isn’t He?
An over-busy schedule sometimes denies the sufficiency of God. Too often I realize that my schedule becomes over-busy because I feel like I have to do it all myself. If I don’t do this, who will? If I don’t work on Sunday, who will put food on the table or how will everything else get done? If I don’t plan this church event, who will? If I don’t take the kids to this ball game, how will they get there? The answers may very well be:

• God will provide it or maybe I need to do with less food, things, or activities!
• Someone will step up or the event won’t take place (and that’s OK)! (If no one wants to plan the event, perhaps it’s just another activity that increases our over-busy schedules instead of bringing us closer to the peace of God.)
• Another child’s mom or dad will take the kids to the event or maybe they shouldn’t go! (We begin teaching our children about wise schedule choices when we choose wisely between activities, not attend all events.)

I like most of the things in my schedule. They are there because they have value. But sometimes the value of God is eclipsed by the clutter in my life. And when my highest value is blocked by the clutter, my life gets scrambled and the misfires in my brain increase exponentially.

God Has a Solution
God woke me up early one day last week while and I found myself with a whole extra hour and a half before I had to leave the house. I spent it with Him. It changed the course of my day. I confess that when I got out of bed, I was afraid that getting up so early would cause me to collapse before the day was over, but I consciously trusted God to carry me through the day. I was fine all day. God is speaking to me and demonstrating to me the value of an uncluttered life. It allows me to REST in His sufficiency. It allows me to walk in peace through stressful situations because the responsibility isn’t really on my shoulders.

I’m certain this is the beginning of many blogs about de-cluttering our lives and trusting God with what we can’t do –because we can’t do it all and still keep an uncluttered life. Peace eludes us when we rush franticly from one activity to the next. At least it eludes me. You can’t chase after peace, you must wait for it.

I invite you to join me in this journey toward God’s peace. I’m not sure where it’s leading, but I know that God has grace to carry us through.

And an Assignment
De-clutter assignment for this week: Pick a day during which you will purposefully set aside everything that screams to be done and everything else that you want to do, and sit before the Lord for longer than you would typically spend in devotions. Be sure it’s a place and time that is quiet. Trust God to handle all that needs to be done while you rest with Him for awhile. Read a little more Scripture than you normally would. Listen to the quiet. Breathe in the quiet. Whisper prayers to God. Seek His peace. If you like, play soft worship music in the background (that puts me to sleep, so I don’t do it). Don’t come with a long prayer list. Don’t spend the whole time reading Scripture. Just rest with God. This is a time for you to be restored and refreshed by the peacefulness of God’s presence. Resist the temptation to leave God’s presence too soon. Your goal (for those goal-setters out there) is to experience the peace God can bring into a cluttered life if you push away the clutter to focus on Him.

You might not accomplish your goal! If you’re new at pushing away the clutter, it might be difficult for you to rest in quiet with the Lord. That’s OK. Try it again next week. Spiritual formation is a process. You will get better at it if you commit to it. You will begin to experience the peace God can bring and that peace will do two things:

1. Enable you to face the cluttered life with more purpose and peace.
2. Cause you to desire a less-cluttered life so that you can more easily find God’s peace regularly.

Those are things I want in my life. They outshine the having a brain that misfires because it’s going in too many directions at once. They come with a price – a weeding out of the clutter in our lives. Is it worth the price? You bet!

Grace & peace, friends.

Do not be quickly provoked in your spirit,
for anger resides in the lap of fools.
Ecclesiastes 7:9

I had planned to spend all day with my mom last Friday. It had been on the schedule for two weeks, but I was having one of those mornings when it seems impossible to get out of the house. I had to go back upstairs several times because I kept forgetting things, then I had to go downstairs in the basement to gather supplies I needed. I was planning to eat my breakfast of toast and tea on the road, but couldn’t find my car tea cup. So after boiling the water for tea, I just threw it away and looked for an alternative beverage. Diet Coke was my second choice, but we didn’t have any cold. So I put ice in a plastic glass and took the can with me. I was also taking lots of other things for various projects we’d be working on – scrapbooking supplies for making some cards, my laptop so I could make some notes about mom’s life for a book we’re working on, a puzzle I bought to put together during some visit, and various other things I’d collected that needed to be taken to mom’s.

In retrospect, I recognize that this morning really wasn’t atypical. The problem was my attitude. It just seemed that each additional trip upstairs or downstairs or each thing that didn’t go exactly as I wanted it to go increased my frustration. Never during those 45 minutes of getting ready did I stop, take a breath and remind myself that life is good. I was letting little things that shouldn’t even rate being considered annoyances get to me.

Finally, after three trips to the car loading various supplies, I grabbed my purse, my glass of ice and my can of pop and headed to the car with my keys in my hand. I was ready to be off for the day (finally! – sigh). I put the glass of ice in the cup holder, then reached over it to put my purse on the passenger’s seat. That’s when my shirt caught on the straw and knocked the glass of ice onto the floor. One would think that I’d have celebrated that there was only ice in the glass, right? Wrong. My “celebration” more like a loud growl-groan – “Aarrrghhhhhhh!”

God’s Interruption
It was in the midst of that aarghh that God spoke to me. Not in an audible voice, but in a distinct thought in my mind that was inconsistent with the emotions I was experiencing. “Sandy, you’re making it harder,” was what I heard, “Sandy, you’re making it harder.” I knew instantly what He meant. My loud growl-groan didn’t do a thing to alleviate my frustration. In fact, it fed it and made it stronger. It was increasing my annoyance with the day in general and moving me closer to throwing in the towel – having my own personal hissy fit, slamming the car doors, throwing the keys in the key-basket and plopping in my chair and saying, “I quit. I can’t go to Mom’s today. I can’t deal with this!” Or maybe my reaction wouldn’t have been quite that bad – maybe I was just being set up for an hour-long drive during which I would rehearse all the miserable things about my life, arriving at Mom’s with a fake smile pasted on my face, and being frustrated at everything that didn’t go right for the next eight hours.

In His grace, God stopped what was happening by whispering into my mind, “Sandy, you’re making it worse.” I immediately realized the truth in the words. I could/should have been considering myself blessed that there was no pop in the glass. I could/should have been spending the morning in anticipation of the blessings of being with Mom all day. I could/should have been using each trip upstairs or downstairs to do any of a number of things other than complain about them. If I hadn’t been expending mental and emotional energy complaining, I probably would have remembered everything I needed on the first trip upstairs…or at least the second one.

There are blessings all around us and we miss them because we get too caught up in the minor things that go wrong (or in some cases, the things that might go wrong – but that’s a different blog).

Blogging about this experience has been on my list for the past week, but when I read the verse in Ecclesiastes this morning, it was moved to the top of the list. “Do not be quickly provoked in your spirit.” I was much too quickly provoked last Friday. And all along the way I had a choice to not be provoked. At any point I could have re-directed my thoughts to the good that God has put around me and in my life. Perhaps this sounds to you much like brainwashing or self-delusion. Not so. The truth is that we constantly have a voice inside us that speaks into our minds – either good or bad. That morning, I had chosen to listen to the bad.

My Freight Train of Thought
If I had taken the time to really listen to that bad voice, I know that I would have been hearing things like this: “You’re never going to get out of here on time. You’re always late when you go to your Mom’s. If you don’t get there by 9am you won’t really have time to do much of anything before lunch. Why is it that your Mom always gets the short end of the stick?” Another line of self-talk might have been more like this: “Why is it that you can’t remember three simple things in one trip? If you had laid this stuff out last night you’d be having a better morning today. If you forget something you won’t be able to finish making the cards you want to do with Mom.” And here’s the third track the voices would have taken: “You know it’s going to take you three trips to get all this stuff to the car. And then three more trips to get it all from the car into the nursing home. Not to mention three more trips to get it all back home. What are you going to do with your laptop while you’re working on cards in the lounge? You know you’ll have to leave it in your Mom’s room because you can’t carry your laptop and your scrapbook supplies all at once. Maybe you should leave your laptop in the car and just work on cards, then go out to the car and exchange the scrapbooking supplies for the laptop. Of course, that limits what you can do…”

I debated about including that last paragraph in this blog for many reasons. It’s very revealing of my personal thought life. Yes, I think these kinds of thoughts, more often than I’d like to admit. This is the kind of self-talk that creeps into my head, trying to suck the life out of me and get me to take the easier path of just giving up and doing nothing. Can you relate to that? It’s not just a “train of thought” – it’s more like a freight train of thought, because it hits you with such impact and it’s full of the baggage of life. But it’s baggage that we’re not called to carry. These thoughts reside just under the surface of my life waiting to pop up at the least provocation. Who can sustain a positive attitude with that flood of negative thoughts vying for attention?

God’s Better Plan
Part of the wonderful package of becoming a follower and disciple of Christ, though, is learning to replace those thoughts with His thoughts. What were God’s thoughts during this time? If I could have silenced the darts the enemy was throwing, I would have been able to recognize how blessed I am to be able to take a day off to spend with Mom. How wonderful it is to have a house with three floors, and the health to be able to climb all those stairs, and the finances to buy scrapbooking supplies and a puzzle and a laptop computer! Was I angsting over what to wear this morning? (Yes!) What a blessing to have such choices in clothing! Was I complaining about tromping upstairs so many times? (Yes!) What good exercise on a day when I would spend most of it sitting! Beyond those blessings that relate directly to what was frustrating me, I have the overriding blessings of a God who is just wild about me, a husband who loves me just about as much as God does, and other family and friends who help make life precious. I also have the physical and mental ability to work and play in the beautiful and abundantly varied world that God has created for me. And I have a warm, dry, and comfortable bed to sleep in each night as I thank God for His goodness.

Being easily provoked last week was all a matter of focusing on the wrong things, and dealing with them in a fleshly way. As God said, my reaction to each incident was just making it worse. The greatest blessing? That God mercifully spoke to me to remind me that I have a choice about letting these little things provoke me to frustration and anger. What a great God we serve!

Lord, as we face the coming week, will you help each reader hear Your voice and not be easily provoked by the darts the enemy throws their way.