ApprehendingGrace.com

Fight the good fight of the faith. Take hold of the eternal life to which you were called when you made your good confession in the presence of many witnesses.
1 Timothy 6:12

As I said in the first blog in this series, I want to take hold of the eternal life to which I was called. I have accepted Christ and seek to give Him full authority in my life. Yet I know that I often limp through this life not taking hold of all that He has for me here and now.

One of those things is living my life free from condemnation. When thinking about this, your mind probably goes to the same verse you’ve heard so many times:

Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus
Romans 8:1

We all say “Hallelujah” when we hear this verse, and we should – there is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus – none – nada – zip – zilch – zero. There is none.

But I doubt that we live like that. I know that there are many times when I don’t.

It’s interesting to note that the writer of the book of Romans is the Apostle Paul. If ever there was someone who would be tempted to feel condemnation it would be Paul. We first see him in the book of Acts. As Stephen was being stoned to death for proclaiming Christ, Acts 8:1 says Saul, who would later become Paul, “was there, giving approval to his death.” Acts 8 continues:

²Godly men buried Stephen and mourned deeply for him. ³But Saul began to destroy the church. Going from house to house, he dragged off men and women and put them in prison.
Acts 8:2-3

Paul had a history and his name was Saul. As Saul, he persecuted the church. It’s not a history I would want to have. I think I’d be tempted to feel lingering (or strong) condemnation as I sought to live out my new life in Christ. Yet Paul wrote “Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.” Hallelujah! If Paul can be forgiven so fully that there is no longer any condemnation associated with his former life, surely I can be forgiven, too.

What’s even more interesting is the context in which Paul wrote the verse. Let’s look at the verse in context:

²¹So I find this law at work: When I want to do good, evil is right there with me. ²²For in my inner being I delight in God’s law; ²³but I see another law at work in the members of my body, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within my members. ²⁴What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body of death? ²⁵Thanks be to God—through Jesus Christ our Lord!

So then, I myself in my mind am a slave to God’s law, but in the sinful nature a slave to the law of sin.

¹Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, ²because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit of life set me free from the law of sin and death. ³For what the law was powerless to do in that it was weakened by the sinful nature, God did by sending his own Son in the likeness of sinful man to be a sin offering. And so he condemned sin in sinful man, ⁴in order that the righteous requirements of the law might be fully met in us, who do not live according to the sinful nature but according to the Spirit.
Romans 7:21 – 8:4

In making his declaration that there is no condemnation, Paul wasn’t even referring to his persecution of the church before he came to know Christ. He was referring to his life after Christ – that even after coming to know and serve Christ he found himself continually tempted to sin. He is so remorseful about this that he writes “What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body of death?” But you have to  love his proclamation in response to his own question –“Thanks be to God – through Jesus Christ our Lord!”

It seems to me that Paul’s focus of being set free from condemnation related to his sin nature and his current proclivity to sin speaks loudly in what it leaves out – it’s as if he’s so free from condemnation from sins related to his former life that they’re not even on his radar any more! That is, if he is free from condemnation of his sinful nature even after coming to Christ, if he is free from condemnation of the sins he does to this very day, how much more so is he free from condemnation for sins committed before coming to Christ?

Paul embraced his new-found freedom in Christ and found himself released from the Law, which required regular blood sacrifice for the atonement of sins. Released from the Law of sin and death, he lived according to the law of the Spirit of life. Living under such a law means living free from condemnation.

Potential Sources of Our Condemnation

It seems to me that condemnation can come from one of four sources:

• Ourselves
• Others around us
• Satan
• God

We’ve already shown that God does not condemn us, so we can rule Him out, but just in case you are still in doubt, let’s look at one more passage. You probably know the first verse, but do you know the two that follow it?

¹⁶“For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. ¹⁷For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him. ¹⁸Whoever believes in him is not condemned, but whoever does not believe stands condemned already because he has not believed in the name of God’s one and only Son.
John 3:16-18

If you believe in Christ, you are not condemned by God. Period. He accepts and forgives you. Unconditionally.

Satan doesn’t want you to believe that, of course, and he will hound you with accusations for past, present, real and imagined sins. Follow the advice of Peter:

⁸Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. ⁹Resist him, standing firm in the faith.
1 Peter 5:8-9a

Stand before Satan’s onslaughts saying, “I am a forgiven child of God. Christ died so that I might be saved, not so that I would be condemned.” Repeat as necessary!

Perhaps it is the condemnation of others that hurts the most. It does for me, anyway. Especially when it comes from people I respect and/or have had a close relationship with. Earlier today God brought me face to face with an old insecurity of mine. As I wrestled to determine the source of the insecurity, God reminded me of an incidence from my long ago past. Being reminded of the incident, I asked God, “Lord, do you have anything to say to me about that situation?” What I sensed was that the accusation – the condemnation – that was brought against me was brought out of the other person’s insecurity. I also sensed that the entire situation brought pain to both of us, causing us both to walk with a limp for a period of time. These were not limps that God desired us to have.

In Christ Jesus, there is now no condemnation! Accusations that have been waged against us, accusations that we have taken into our hearts and spirits, accusations that we have allowed to grow into cancerous tumors with fingers that choke out our life – Be gone in Jesus Name!

Ask God for healing of past wounds where healing is needed. What He said to me about that long-ago situation brought healing to my heart and spirit. A sadness in understanding the long-lasting affect it has had on both of us, but healing nonetheless.

Don’t let others throw condemnation onto you. Take the condemnations immediately to God and ask Him to remove even the smallest speck of the accusation that might take hold in you.

Finally, we are often our own worst enemy, aren’t we? I have worked diligently over the past several years to change the way I speak and think. There was a time when I would quickly condemn myself for even the most minor failing. When I catch myself in such a thought or word, I immediately speak the opposite. “I am an intelligent, thoughtful, capable woman of God. Even if I wasn’t, God would be passionately in love with me. Who am I to think so wrongly about someone (me) of whom the Lord thinks so highly? Am I calling Him a liar? Am I dissing the forgiveness that He has given me so freely and at such a great cost? I surely hope not! Lord, forgive me, and I will know that once forgiven, I am not condemned.

Scripture is clear: We are not condemned by the King of Kings, Lord of Lords, Creator of the Universe. “What, then, shall we say in response to this? If God is for us, who can be against us?” (Romans 8:31) That’s a rhetorical question – the short answer is that many people may be against us, but none will prevail unless we give up the ground we’ve been given. Friends, take hold of the eternal life to which you’ve been called – a life that is free from condemnation by God. With that freedom, release condemnation that might be thrown your way by Satan, other people, and yourself. Let your shield against these fiery darts be your knowledge that you stand forgiven by the One who has all power and authority to forgive and that you do not stand condemned. Walk in freedom!

¹⁴Because of my chains, most of the brothers in the Lord have been encouraged to speak the word of God more courageously and fearlessly.

¹⁵It is true that some preach Christ out of envy and rivalry, but others out of goodwill. ¹⁶The latter do so in love, knowing that I am put here for the defense of the gospel. ¹⁷The former preach Christ out of selfish ambition, not sincerely, supposing that they can stir up trouble for me while I am in chains. ¹⁸But what does it matter? The important thing is that in every way, whether from false motives or true, Christ is preached. And because of this I rejoice.
Philippians 1:14-18

I love Paul’s attitude here. He’s a prisoner because he preached the Gospel, and he recognizes that because he is in prison, many others are preaching the Gospel with more freedom than they were before. There isn’t the slightest hint of feeling sorry for himself. He rejoices that the Gospel is being proclaimed.

But it goes further than that.

• Paul understands that the motives of some are pure – to proclaim the Gospel – to share God’s great gift of salvation with others.
• He also understands that the motives of others are not nearly so pure – their motives are to stir up trouble so that Paul would receive harsher treatment in prison.

Still, Paul rejoices that either way, whether from pure motives or impure motives, the Gospel is being preached. Again, there is not a hint of bitterness or anger, or even frustration, toward those who are preaching out of impure motives. There is simply rejoicing that the Gospel is being preached.

I’m not sure where I first heard the term “unoffendable heart” – perhaps from Francis Frangipane’s teachings. Paul demonstrates an unoffendable heart in this passage – in a situation where others are clearly trying to harm him, he’s saying “it’s all good – they’re furthering the Gospel of Christ.”

Lord, help us to imitate Paul, even as he imitated Christ – help us to rejoice in the furtherance of the Gospel and not even give the slightest thought if we are offended in the process. Lord, may You have the victory when we think we have a right to be offended and instead choose to bless the offender.

Satan is the one whose desire it is to steal, kill and destroy. Becoming easily offended steals, kills and destroys our relationships with one another and with Christ. It spills over onto those around us, splashing them with the toxic emotions we feel. Don’t let Satan win even the smallest battle. Work hard to develop a heart like Paul’s and Christ’s – choose to be unoffendable.

¹⁸Make sure there is no man or woman, clan or tribe among you today whose heart turns away from the LORD our God to go and worship the gods of those nations; make sure there is no root among you that produces such bitter poison.¹⁹When such a person hears the words of this oath, he invokes a blessing on himself and therefore thinks, “I will be safe, even though I persist in going my own way.” This will bring disaster on the watered land as well as the dry. ²⁰The LORD will never be willing to forgive him; his wrath and zeal will burn against that man. All the curses written in this book will fall upon him, and the LORD will blot out his name from under heaven. ²¹The LORD will single him out from all the tribes of Israel for disaster, according to all the curses of the covenant written in this Book of the Law.
          Deuteronomy 29:18-21

Whew! I read this passage and my first thought was “I need to write a blog about this.” My second thought was…”what in the world would I say?”

You see my first thought came from a place of understanding that many slide backwards in their faith from time to time and the condemnation they feel as they try to come back to the Lord can be great. Let me say here as at the begining, as strongly as I can: If you are on your way back to the Lord, any condemnation you feel is not from the Lord and is totally inappropriate. The Lord is not the author of condemnation, Satan is. The Lord is the author of conviction – that is, bringing about a heartfelt sorrow for our sins that is accompanied by a desire to turn away from those sins and by taking steps to do so. That’s from the Lord. Condemnation, on the other hand, tends to immobilize us in guilt and keep us from taking steps toward reconciliation with God and others. Conviction motivates us to change. Condemnation immobilizes us, keeping us from change.

Yet we read here in Deuteronomy 29 that God will bring disaster on those who have turned away from Him and go their own way to the extent that “the Lord will blot out his name from under heaven.” Where is there room for repentence and reconciliation with God? Where is there room for a renewal in our relationship with God if we have fallen away?

That was my dilemma as I considered blogging about this passage. My goal for ApprehendingGrace.com is to help each of us apprehend – grab hold of – what God has done for us and what He wants to do in us and for us. Where is that message in this chapter? To use King Solomon’s phrase from Ecclesiastes, is my whole purpose just “a chasing after the wind?”

It can’t be. I know that God accepts the prodigal. I know that He watches for the prodigal’s return. Yet somehow it’s not satisfying enough for me to simply explain away this Deuteronomy 29 passage with the often used phrase of “we’re under the New Covenant, the covenant of grace.” Yes, we are under the New Covenant, in which God promises salvation to all who would come to Him in humility and sincerity and ask for His forgiveness of their sins and Lordship in their lives. Still, God’s Word remains true and this passage sure doesn’t seem to provide much wiggle room for anyone who has backslidden.

So you understand my conundrum. My approach was to set all that aside and keep reading. (When in doubt, keep reading. Pause to pray, but keep reading.) Am I glad I did! You see, Deuteronomy 30 is a continuation of Deuteronomy 29. Our chapter divisions weren’t in the original writing and they don’t always seem to make sense. They make it possible to refer to specific portions of Scripture, but we shouldn’t allow verse or chapter divisions interrupt the train of thought of the original writers. Read with me portions of Deuteronomy 30:

¹When all these blessings and curses I have set before you come upon you and you take them to heart wherever the LORD your God disperses you among the nations, ²and when you and your children return to the LORD your God and obey him with all your heart and with all your soul according to everything I command you today, ³then the LORD your God will restore your fortunes and have compassion on you and gather you again from all the nations where he scattered you. ⁴Even if you have been banished to the most distant land under the heavens, from there the LORD your God will gather you and bring you back… ⁶The LORD your God will circumcise your hearts and the hearts of your descendants, so that you may love him with all your heart and with all your soul, and live….⁹…The LORD will again delight in you and make you prosperous, just as he delighted in your fathers, ¹⁰if you obey the LORD your God and keep his commands and decrees that are written in this Book of the Law and turn to the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul.
          Deuteronomy 30:1-10

If we turn from God, as described in Deuteronomy 29, God will surely bring those disasters upon us. But when we return to the Lord, He will restore us. It really is as simple as that…and yet it’s not just that simple. It’s really much better than that!

I love so many verses in this passage: “Even if you have been banished to the most distant land under the heavens, from there the Lord your God will gather you and bring you back.” No matter how far we have strayed from God, now matter how badly we have been conquered by our enemies, God will meet us in that place and will gather us in His arms and bring us back. Wow! He will bring us back. I play a role, of course – I have to determine in my heart to love God and obey Him. But having done that, He will bring me back. He will do the heavy lifting. He will conquer the foes who have conquered me during my time of disobedience. Hallelujah! What a gracious God we serve.

Not only will He bring me back, He will circumcise my heart so that I am able to love Him all the more. Further, He will take delight in me. The word translated “take delight” is literally “rejoice over” or “take great joy because of.” It totally blows me away that the Creator of all things we see (and don’t see) around us and of every distant galaxy and star, the King above all kings, the One who holds the universe together, will be delighted in me. He will take great joy because of my love for Him. If we could truly grab hold of just this last point, our lives would be revolutionized. Why should I care what opinions others hold of me? Why should I become discouraged because I can’t do all that I’d like to do? Why should I…? I shouldn’t. The King of Glory delights in me simply because I love Him.

Oh, Lord, may all who read this know that they know that they know how much you love them. And may You circumcise our hearts that we may love You more.

¹Another time he went into the synagogue, and a man with a shriveled hand was there. ²Some of them were looking for a reason to accuse Jesus, so they watched him closely to see if he would heal him on the Sabbath. ³Jesus said to the man with the shriveled hand, “Stand up in front of everyone.”⁴Then Jesus asked them, “Which is lawful on the Sabbath: to do good or to do evil, to save life or to kill?” But they remained silent.⁵He looked around at them in anger and, deeply distressed at their stubborn hearts, said to the man, “Stretch out your hand.” He stretched it out, and his hand was completely restored. ⁶Then the Pharisees went out and began to plot with the Herodians how they might kill Jesus.
         Mark 3:1-6 (NIV)

It occurs to me that if we’re looking for a reason to accuse someone, even the best of actions will give us a reason. Jesus was being compassionate. The Pharisees were “looking for a reason to accuse” Him. He healed the man’s shriveled hand and they “began to plot…how they might kill” Him.

How very sad. But I recognize that within me, when I have anything against someone (which I ought not to have, but that’s another story), in my heart there is a stubbornness that causes me to look for reasons to accuse them. And then actions born out of their very best intentions become reasons to accuse. Even actions with the most positive outcomes become reasons to accuse.

Lord, open my eyes to the darkness of my heart. I want to be a person who chooses to love, not look for reasons to accuse. Help me to always protect, always trust and always hope (1 Corinthians 13:7). Help me to grow in love.

³If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing.

⁴Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. ⁵It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. ⁶Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. ⁷It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

⁸Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. ⁹For we know in part and we prophesy in part, ¹⁰but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears. ¹¹When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me. ¹²Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.

¹³And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.
               1 Corinthians 13:3-13 (NIV)

Joseph, the son of Jacob and Rachel, had a life defined by many things, but as I read through Genesis 37-40 this week, what struck me was the frequency and depth of betrayal that he experienced. Before his death, Joseph became an incredibly blessed man – he experienced reconciliation with his family, extreme professional success, and had great riches. But before any of those things occurred, he endured betrayal after betrayal after betrayal.

As I pondered this a bit, I was reminded that betrayal was a significant factor in Jesus’ life. It was as a result of betrayal that Jesus was arrested, accused and then sentenced to the cross. But it wasn’t just the betrayals of Judas, those at Jesus’ trial, and Pilate that sent Jesus to the cross. It goes way beyond that. The cross was only necessary because we had sinned and needed someone to save us from our sin. We had betrayed the Lord, and our betrayal sentenced Jesus to the cross. I had betrayed the Lord, and my betrayal sentenced Jesus to the cross.

Joseph is Betrayed…Again and Again
But I started out talking about Joseph’s experience with betrayal. Let’s return there. Joseph was betrayed by his brothers. OK, while what they did wasn’t right at all, maybe you can understand it. After all, Joseph was the bratty little brother who tattled on them (Genesis 37:2), was spoiled by his father (37:3), and thought he was better than his brothers (37:5-11). So they sold him into slavery.

But Joseph’s other betrayals were fully unprovoked.

• Potiphar’s wife accused him of raping her. He had not.
• Potiphar sent him to prison without giving him a chance to speak the truth.
• The Pharaoh’s cupbearer immediately forgot about Joseph once he was restored to his position of cupbearer.

And yet in each setback, God blessed Joseph. And, in fact, each betrayal led Joseph one step closer to the purpose God had for Joseph’s life. If his brothers had not betrayed him, Joseph would not have been in a position to be accused by Potiphar’s wife. If he had not been accused by Potiphar’s wife, Potiphar would hot have had the opportunity to have him thrown into prison. If Potiphar had not betrayed Joseph, the Cupbearer would not have had the opportunity to forget him until Pharaoh had his dream.

Betrayal – A Part of Life on This Earth
It seems to me that Joseph’s life is not too different from yours and mine. Betrayal is part of the package. It’s part of the package because we live in a sinful world and because we are sinners. All of us. Your best friend is a sinner. Your spouse is a sinner. Your children are sinners. The person you esteem most is a sinner. You are a sinner. I am a sinner. And sin is a betrayal. And if betrayal is in our very nature, we should not be surprised when we are betrayed. It’s part of the package.

Don’t misunderstand me. I am not suggesting you develop or nurse a pessimistic attitude. “No good deed goes unpunished” is a common sentiment, and one that I hate. I cringe every time I hear it because it reveals a root of pessimism that I believe does not honor God. Because truth, God’s Word, says that good deeds will be rewarded. Yes, we might experience betrayal in this life and our good deed might yield negative consequences for a short time, but our focus isn’t on this world. In the world we ought to be living for (i.e., the Kingdom of heaven), good deeds are blessed.

So Let’s Live for the Kingdom of God
What I am suggesting is that we focus on truth instead of lies. And since betrayal is not truth, since it is perpetrated by the father of lies, perhaps it ought not be our focus. I know that’s not an easy thing to do when you’ve been betrayed. I’ve been betrayed. Badly. It sent me into a tailspin. I understand the emotional damage that betrayal can cause. I admire Joseph for his apparent ability to shake it off quickly and continue to be faithful to do his best in each place he was put. I can’t help but wonder if his earlier dreams of what God had for him sustained him as he was continually pushed down. Scripture doesn’t say that, so we don’t know.

One instruction that Scripture does give us is to think about those things that are true and noble and right, those things that are pure and lovely and admirable, those things that are excellent and praiseworthy (Philippians 4:8). Let’s recognize betrayal for what it is – at the very root of our nature and from the hand of the Enemy. Then let’s turn our focus away from it and toward the One who faced our betrayal by stretching out His arms in love.

A Step Further
In each situation, Joseph continued to be faithful to God. Dr. Shane Johnson’s definition of success is this: “Doing the right thing over an extended period of time.” Notice that the definition doesn’t include anything about income or fame. He leaves the issues of income and fame to God and instead teaches that success is an issue of character. Success for Joseph wasn’t becoming governor of Egypt. His success was in not letting each betrayal keep him from being faithful in whatever position God placed him.

Betrayal is most devastating when it is a violation of trust from the hand of someone whom you have allowed to become close to you. The betrayal from a stranger affects your circumstances but doesn’t pierce your heart. The betrayal of a friend, a family member, or an authority figure has the power to debilitate you unlike that of other betrayals. These betrayals will come into your life, though. Remember, we are all sinful; betrayal is part of our sinful nature. We all have the capability to betray one another. The Enemy wants to use these inevitable betrayals to cause you to build a wall around yourself so that you let no one, not even God Himself, get close enough to hurt you like that again. But Joseph didn’t let the repeated betrayals of these significant people in his life shake his trust in God. He continued to do the right thing over an extended period of time, and that was the secret of his success. 

Think Kingdom living and keep at it. That’s what we are called to.

How very hard it can be to trust the Lord when we are in pain! It doesn’t matter whether the pain is physical, emotional or spiritual, it can be difficult to rest in God’s peace when the questions of “why?” and “when?” and “will He?” jab at our souls at every turn.

There was a time when I unequivocally said that I had the gift of faith. My ability to trust God went beyond myself — I just knew He was trustworthy and I could count on Him. That deep-down-in-your-spirit kind of knowing that you can’t really explain. That peace that surpasses all understanding.

Then life happened. Significant life. Significantly bad life. Don’t get me wrong. I am blessed. But in the midst of that blessed life, I experienced life circumstances that challenged the farthest reaches of my gift of faith.

I am on the recovery path from those circumstances. My path hasn’t been a straight one, by any means — I didn’t always do the right things — but I have learned some things along the way that might be helpful to others who are in the midst of “life.” In the following discussion, I continually use the word “healing.” Please realize that I am not necessarily talking about physical healing. If you have suffered a significant emotional blow, I mean emotional healing.

• There probably is no straight path to healing. Expect that you’ll take two steps forward and then fall back a step. Over time, the number of steps you move forward will begin to outweigh your backwards steps at a much greater ratio.That might mean measuring your progress in terms of months at first instead of weeks or days. Physical issues demonstrate this well — for the common cold, people expect to feel a little better each day, but recovery from abdominal surgery might take six weeks, and recovery from a stroke might take six months. When recovering from the surgery or stroke, you won’t sense that any healing has taken place on a daily basis. For those more significant setbacks in life, don’t even try to measure your progress toward healing on a daily basis — measure your progress in weeks or months.So don’t think of your goal as being past your current circumstances. Make your goal to move closer toward healing each week. Your ultimate goal is to be healed, but work toward the smaller goals and celebrate those incremental victories. There was a time when I said to my husband “I haven’t been angry for a week.” That was a step in my healing that took several months to achieve. It was worth celebrating.
• Don’t let setbacks discourage you. Don’t live in them. Don’t overly coddle yourself. Accept them as reality, set aside the disappointment, and continue moving forward. There is so much to be learned from the physical realm here: I am always shocked by the fourth day of a cold. Colds typically run something like this for me:     Day 1 — feel yucky
       Day 2 — feel like I’m going to die, or wish I would
       Day 3 — I’m amazed at how good I feel, Praise God that this cold was so short-lived
       Day 4 — feel only slightly better than I did on day 2 – what happened to yesterday?
       Day 5 — almost better
       Day 6 — back to normalThat’s the cycle that colds have run for me for the past 30 years. Yet each time I get a cold, I’m shocked at day 4. “How can I feel so bad when I was doing so well yesterday? I must be really sick!” Don’t be like me. Don’t be shocked by day 4. Don’t look forward to it, but don’t be shocked when you get hit by it and don’t be derailed by it. Set your discouragement aside and look toward tomorrow.
• Have someone that you can confide in who will reassure you of God’s goodness and of His continued love for you. I needed this more than I could have imagined. I needed someone to say, “Sandy, this is an aberration in your life. God is still being faithful to you. He still loves you. He will still use you in His kingdom.” It greatly embarrasses me to admit that my faith wavered so much. Like I said, I was a woman of faith. I had the gift of faith. I had always been able to believe God for things that others couldn’t see. In the midst of my pain, though, I couldn’t even see the things He was doing right in front of my eyes. I needed regular encouragement. And throughout the long process, I was continually reminded that my strengths were not my strengths after all. Qualities that I considered to be my strengths were fractured and broken, teaching me that I didn’t “own” my strengths — that I couldn’t sustain them, but that they were loaned to me by God and were sustained by Him alone.Notice that I wrote “have someone.” It is not healthy to go over your story again and again, even though that may be what you want to do. Have one person that you trust to whom you can pour out your heart and reveal your fears, and with whom you can celebrate your successes.
• The body requires rest to heal itself, whether from physical or emotional issues. Sleep often and don’t beat yourself up about it. Quit being superwoman or superman for awhile — drop some of your activities so that you have plenty of time to rest.
• Consider the importance of play! Be sure your schedule includes some things that bring you joy. Whether dancing or drawing, watching a movie or playing with the dog, be sure you take time for these things. You need the positive endorphins that your body releases when you are enjoying yourself. Make time for it.
• Be proactive about spending time with friends — probably in short duration at first, but be careful not to shut yourself off completely. The tendency when we feel pain is to draw back. If the pain is emotional, that means withdrawing from those who love us. Work hard not to do this.
• Don’t rely on your emotions. Your friends are still your friends, God still hears you and He still loves you, those closest to you still love you. Your world is not closing in on you. It may feel like it, but your emotions are not reality.
• Practice kindness and forgiveness in situations where kindness and forgiveness are easy. No matter what healing you need, forgiveness will play a part. You may need to forgive someone who hurt you, you may need to forgive yourself for past decisions or actions, and you may even need to forgive God. That doesn’t mean that God sinned against you. He didn’t. However, you may be laying things at His feet that cause you to be angry with Him. The process of releasing that anger is for you to forgive God for allowing you to go through the circumstances you’re in.
• In your heart, you will need to recognize that God’s ways are above your ways and that He is accomplishing His purposes through whatever has happened to you. But during that process, you may need to say, “Lord, forgive me.” ….. Grow your forgiveness muscle by forgiving all the little things that need to be forgiven. Some day you’ll be able to forgive the big things, too.I’ve learned that wounded people bruise easily. I caught myself becoming quite angry frequently during the process of healing. My latent anger turned into impatience at those around me. I needed to practice regular forgiveness for little things during that time. For example, a person who said something unkind offended me when in my “normal life” it wouldn’t have even registered. I needed to forgive her. The people around me in the grocery store all seemed more incompetent than they used to be. No, I was just less patient. I needed to confess that sin to God and extend kindness to every one of them.
• Don’t forsake God. Stay in church. Find a new church if you need to. Continue to read Scripture regularly, even if it’s just a few verses at a time. Continue to pray, even if you feel like your prayers are just bouncing off the ceiling. Do those activities that make you feel closest to God. For me that’s worship; for some, it’s study, and for others it’s service. Feed your soul. Your pain will rob it of it’s stored energy, so feed it often.

This blog has been a long time in coming. This morning during my devotions I read a verse that finally prompted me to write it:

⁸“My thoughts are completely different from yours,” says the LORD. “And my ways are far beyond anything you could imagine. ⁹For just as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts higher than your thoughts.
            Isaiah 55:8-10, NLT

God is bigger than my pain. He always has been and always will be. His ways take my pain and turn it into a golden treasure. I am not yet at the point of seeing that treasure, but if there’s a progression from pain to treasure of clay, to treasure of silver, to treasure of gold, I would guess that I am somewhere between clay and silver. For that I am very thankful.

God may choose to heal you instantly. Rejoice! Praise Him! I know He can and often does heal instantly. He also allows us to journey through the healing process so that we learn to trust Him more and are able to help others through their healing process. I learned much about myself and God during my healing process. Some of the things I learned were things I didn’t want to know — how very weak and fragile I really am. But then God’s probably been trying to teach me that for years!