ApprehendingGrace.com

Over the past ten years I’ve learned more from my Mom than over the previous two decades! Who’da thunk it? You see, Mom had a stroke in May 1998. She has been severely handicapped since then. Yet she continues to enjoy life and be a blessing to those around her. (Read Saturday’s blog, “The ‘Good Humor’ Lady.”)

Admittedly, there have been times over the past decade when darkness has overwhelmed her and she’s asked me why God allowed this to happen and why God doesn’t just let her die. At first I had only vague, theoretical answers. Now I can point to real, verifiable answers.

The theoretical is not to be scoffed at. Good doctrine is important and should provide the brick and mortar structure that experience decorates. But like the saying goes, a person with a theoretical argument (even a good “theological” one) doesn’t stand a chance against a person with a real personal experience.

My doctrine teaches me that until God takes us home, He has a purpose for our lives. We haven’t accomplished all the good things He has prepared in advance for us to do (Ephesians 2:10). Some might look at my Mom - unable to get herself out of bed, requiring total care, even unable to feed herself- and wonder what purpose can God possibly have for her now? What can she possible accomplish? What value can she have in our world today? My doctrine also teaches me that God promises to use all things for good for those who love Him and are called according to His purpose (Romans 8:28), and that He chooses (yes, consciously, intentionally chooses!) the weak things to confound the strong (1 Corinthians 1:27-31).

My experience validates that God has used and is using Mom’s horrible situation to touch many around her and to teach me much about life. As a tribute to both my God and my Mom, let me share with you some of what I’m learning.

I’m learning to bless (and honor) my mom. Mom calls me on the phone, sometimes several times a day, usually with nothing but “foolishness” to talk about. She’ll often share the “joke of the day” with me - but she almost always messes up the punchline. I usually don’t even get the joke (or see any humor in it if I do get it), but she laughs and laughs because she knows the joke and probably doesn’t realize that she left a few words out of the punchline. So I bless her by laughing with her, because to explain a joke is to lose its effectiveness but to laugh together is a good thing. That I don’t understand her sense of humor is pretty irrelevant. We’re having fun together - she by laughing at the joke, me by enjoying my mom’s craziness. Sometimes my husband Phil will tell her he doesn’t get the joke. She’ll pause for a second and then say she doesn’t get it either and they both laugh! (I feel compelled to point out here that Mom’s stroke did not affect her mental capacities. She’s just having fun with life, whether she gets the joke or not.)

I’m learning patience. When she calls me on the phone for the nth-time-today to talk about nothing but “foolishness,” I’ve learned to turn away from my work, shout into the phone so she can hear me and relax while she tells me of her latest activity at the nursing home. Sometimes I feel myself get anxious because it’s the middle of the workday and I have deadlines to meet. Yet I am learning to turn away from that anxiety and toward someone I love to hear about things that matter to her.

I’m learning compassion. It’s either that or turn my heart off as I visit the nursing home each week. Visiting the nursing home costs me much emotionally, but at every visit I am impressed by the significant need for the simple gift of holding a hand, praying with someone or just sitting and talking for five minutes. It’s what I call “cup of water” obedience. I don’t have to do BIG things for God (like be a missionary to Zimbabwe - I call that “King Kong” obedience). I only have to give a cold cup of water to someone who is thirsty.

I’m learning sacrifice. I’m doing things with and for Mom that I would never have imagined. Mom always loved crafts. I don’t. But in order to share things with her when the possibilities in her world are so limited, I purchase crafts and we work on them together. I’m doing all the work, of course, but Mom sits next to me and knows instinctively how to do them and instructs me accordingly. I’d much prefer to read and follow the directions. But I humble myself and “OK, Mom, what should I do next?” (I’ve drawn a line at using a glue gun.)

I’m learning that sacrifice is the currency of heaven and the language of love…but I digress…that’s another blog-to-come.

I’m learning the importance of enjoying life…even when it’s not very enjoyable. I’m not very good at that. Mom is very good at that. She turns every event into a party. I used to think this was part of Mom’s “foolishness.” I’ve learned that it is part of her strength.

I’m learning to be friendlier than I really am and nicer to others than I really am. Everyone matters to Mom. In many ways she reflects the love of Christ much better than I do. She is a person who truly sees the best in everyone and treats them accordingly.

I’m learning that having a deep trust in God doesn’t always look the way I expect it to look. Mom has a simple, usually unspoken, unpretentious faith. When she arrives in heaven, I imagine Jesus planning a clown parade in her honor and everyone will be wearing funny hats and will have their own noise-maker. This would not be heaven to me, but it surely will be for Mom.

I’m learning to honor people for serving in professions that I cannot fathom serving in.

I’m learning to love better.

All this from a teacher who can no longer feed or dress herself. Wow! I love you, Mom!

Mark 9:49 “[Jesus said] For everyone will be purified with fire.” (spoken by Jesus)

“EVERYONE will be purified with fire.” That means me. That means you. No one will escape.

“Everyone will be PURIFIED with fire.” Purify means (according to the Merriam-Webster Online dictionary) “to clear from material defilement or imperfection,” “to free from guilt or moral or ceremonial blemish,” and “to free from undesirable elements.”

“Everyone will be purified with FIRE.” Burning and painful, consuming, destroying. Even a small burn from touching a hot pan is painful. Even a light burn from spending too much time in the sun is painful. And then the burned area dies away. The word “fire” is often used to mean trials or ordeals.

What is Jesus teaching? That none of us will escape the process of being freed from material defilement, guilt and other undesirable elements. Wow! That sounds like a great promise, doesn’t it? I want to be freed from the gunk in my life! I want to be free from my attachment to material things. Yes, Lord!

“OK,” Jesus says. “The process for this is by burning it away with fire.” I shrink back and say, “But Lord, isn’t there another (easier) way?”

I want to escape the fire. I want to escape the trial. I want to avoid the unpleasantness and just live on Pleasant Lane in Friendly Town in the state of Prosperity. It’s the “life I want.” I bet you do too.

But God says that those undesirable elements in my life are not removed by life on Pleasant Lane. They are removed by fire. I can choose to live on Pleasant Lane, but I won’t be purified. And somehow I think that true joy doesn’t live on Pleasant Lane. It might visit occasionally to give me a taste of what I could have if I allowed Jesus to purify me.

You see, “burning” can also mean something else – it can mean passionate, as in “burning desire.” When we choose to follow Jesus and making Him our one true, burning desire, He will purify us. He will set us free from the bondage we cling to (life, the way we want it). He knows that the bondage we cling to is the very thing that keeps us from experiencing true joy. Life, the way I want it, is too self-centered and self-focused. Life the way Christ wants me to have it is freedom and courage to lay down my life and serve others. Jesus is speaking again in Mark 17:33 and says, “Whoever clings to this life will lose it, and whoever loses this life will save it.”

So what trial are you in the middle of? Rejoice, because you know it is the process Christ is using to bring freedom!

“For it has been granted to you on behalf of Christ not only to believe on Him, but also to suffer for Him…” Philippians 1:29

We’ve been “granted” two things: To believe in (on) Christ, and to suffer for Him. Some translations say we’ve been “given the privilege” or “given the honor” to do these two things. I surely count it a privilege and an honor to believe in Christ and to serve Him. But do I count it a privilege and honor to suffer for Him? Clearly Paul did, but…

In preparing for our Bible study on Philippians, Phil looked up the word that is translated “granted.” Are you ready for this? It will knock your socks off! At least it did mine.
The word is “charizomai” and it’s a derivative of the word “charis” that was translated “grace” in verse 2 of this chapter. See Grace, the Double-Powered Prayer for more on that.

Charizomai means “to freely give something out of kindness or as a favor, which will help or rescue the person receiving it.” OK. Let’s put it in context:

“I have (you have) been freely given (out of the kindness of God) the privilege of believing in Christ and that belief will help or rescue you.” Cool! I like that!

“I have (you have) been freely given (out of the kindness of God) the privilege of suffering for Christ and that suffering will help or rescue you.” Say what?

My suffering has been given to me out of the kindness of God…that means it’s not always from the enemy, but from the hand of God, out of his kindness! (Kindness?) And it will rescue me. (Rescue me?)

I think it’s important here to point out that we’re not talking about receiving the discipline of God. We’re talking about suffering for Christ. Suffering injustly simply because of our faith in Christ and/or serving Him .

And (amazingly) this is found in Philippians, the book commonly referred to as “the book of Joy.” I repeat…Say What???

We asked our group how this could possibly be…how can suffering rescue us? How can it possibly be out of the kindness of God? Here’s some of the answers we came up with:
- It teaches us to focus on Christ and things of eternal value - It gives us more opportunity to know the goodness of God when He rescues us - It gives us more opportunity to know the goodness of God’s people when they support us - It teaches us compassion for others - It strengthens our “love muscle,” teaching us to love when it’s not easy to love (Don’t look now, but I think that list comes awfully close to defining spiritual maturity.)

All of this is consistent with the message of joy that Paul presents in chapter 1. Over and over again we see that the joy Paul possesses is a joy that comes out of seeing what God is doing in others, rather than a joy that comes out of our own circumstances.

In other words, if we want to experience joy, we must “get outside ourselves.” And sometimes suffering is what God brings into our lives to shock us out of our self-absorption.

Caveat…this is what God is teaching us…it’s not what I’ve learned yet! I’d much prefer for God to teach me these things through easy, patient circumstances not suffering. I realize that what I need is a change in perspective on suffering. And quite frankly, I’m afraid to ask for it! Because God is true to His Word and I’m afraid He’ll say “Ask and you shall receive.” And I’m not quite ready (willing? – Ouch!) for more suffering. So please pray for me what I can’t pray for myself – pray for a change in my perspective on suffering. (If you’d like me to pray the same for you, let me know.)