ApprehendingGrace.com

Over the past ten years I’ve learned more from my Mom than over the previous two decades! Who’da thunk it? You see, Mom had a stroke in May 1998. She has been severely handicapped since then. Yet she continues to enjoy life and be a blessing to those around her. (Read Saturday’s blog, “The ‘Good Humor’ Lady.”)

Admittedly, there have been times over the past decade when darkness has overwhelmed her and she’s asked me why God allowed this to happen and why God doesn’t just let her die. At first I had only vague, theoretical answers. Now I can point to real, verifiable answers.

The theoretical is not to be scoffed at. Good doctrine is important and should provide the brick and mortar structure that experience decorates. But like the saying goes, a person with a theoretical argument (even a good “theological” one) doesn’t stand a chance against a person with a real personal experience.

My doctrine teaches me that until God takes us home, He has a purpose for our lives. We haven’t accomplished all the good things He has prepared in advance for us to do (Ephesians 2:10). Some might look at my Mom - unable to get herself out of bed, requiring total care, even unable to feed herself- and wonder what purpose can God possibly have for her now? What can she possible accomplish? What value can she have in our world today? My doctrine also teaches me that God promises to use all things for good for those who love Him and are called according to His purpose (Romans 8:28), and that He chooses (yes, consciously, intentionally chooses!) the weak things to confound the strong (1 Corinthians 1:27-31).

My experience validates that God has used and is using Mom’s horrible situation to touch many around her and to teach me much about life. As a tribute to both my God and my Mom, let me share with you some of what I’m learning.

I’m learning to bless (and honor) my mom. Mom calls me on the phone, sometimes several times a day, usually with nothing but “foolishness” to talk about. She’ll often share the “joke of the day” with me - but she almost always messes up the punchline. I usually don’t even get the joke (or see any humor in it if I do get it), but she laughs and laughs because she knows the joke and probably doesn’t realize that she left a few words out of the punchline. So I bless her by laughing with her, because to explain a joke is to lose its effectiveness but to laugh together is a good thing. That I don’t understand her sense of humor is pretty irrelevant. We’re having fun together - she by laughing at the joke, me by enjoying my mom’s craziness. Sometimes my husband Phil will tell her he doesn’t get the joke. She’ll pause for a second and then say she doesn’t get it either and they both laugh! (I feel compelled to point out here that Mom’s stroke did not affect her mental capacities. She’s just having fun with life, whether she gets the joke or not.)

I’m learning patience. When she calls me on the phone for the nth-time-today to talk about nothing but “foolishness,” I’ve learned to turn away from my work, shout into the phone so she can hear me and relax while she tells me of her latest activity at the nursing home. Sometimes I feel myself get anxious because it’s the middle of the workday and I have deadlines to meet. Yet I am learning to turn away from that anxiety and toward someone I love to hear about things that matter to her.

I’m learning compassion. It’s either that or turn my heart off as I visit the nursing home each week. Visiting the nursing home costs me much emotionally, but at every visit I am impressed by the significant need for the simple gift of holding a hand, praying with someone or just sitting and talking for five minutes. It’s what I call “cup of water” obedience. I don’t have to do BIG things for God (like be a missionary to Zimbabwe - I call that “King Kong” obedience). I only have to give a cold cup of water to someone who is thirsty.

I’m learning sacrifice. I’m doing things with and for Mom that I would never have imagined. Mom always loved crafts. I don’t. But in order to share things with her when the possibilities in her world are so limited, I purchase crafts and we work on them together. I’m doing all the work, of course, but Mom sits next to me and knows instinctively how to do them and instructs me accordingly. I’d much prefer to read and follow the directions. But I humble myself and “OK, Mom, what should I do next?” (I’ve drawn a line at using a glue gun.)

I’m learning that sacrifice is the currency of heaven and the language of love…but I digress…that’s another blog-to-come.

I’m learning the importance of enjoying life…even when it’s not very enjoyable. I’m not very good at that. Mom is very good at that. She turns every event into a party. I used to think this was part of Mom’s “foolishness.” I’ve learned that it is part of her strength.

I’m learning to be friendlier than I really am and nicer to others than I really am. Everyone matters to Mom. In many ways she reflects the love of Christ much better than I do. She is a person who truly sees the best in everyone and treats them accordingly.

I’m learning that having a deep trust in God doesn’t always look the way I expect it to look. Mom has a simple, usually unspoken, unpretentious faith. When she arrives in heaven, I imagine Jesus planning a clown parade in her honor and everyone will be wearing funny hats and will have their own noise-maker. This would not be heaven to me, but it surely will be for Mom.

I’m learning to honor people for serving in professions that I cannot fathom serving in.

I’m learning to love better.

All this from a teacher who can no longer feed or dress herself. Wow! I love you, Mom!

Last Sunday (June 8th) was Pentecost Sunday. As we sang during worship asking the Lord to fill us with His Spirit, several thoughts came to mind. The first two were thoughts you’ve probably heard preached many times: In order for a vessel to be filled with something new (God’s fresh outpouring of His Spirit), and for that new thing to remain pure, uncontaminated by the previous contents, the vessel must first be emptied, then cleansed thoroughly. Let’s say, for example, that I want a cup of tea with my mid-morning snack. I’ll first want to empty the cup of the coffee I had with breakfast and wash the cup thoroughly. If I don’t, even just the smell of the coffee will ruin a perfectly good cup of tea. In the spiritual sense, in order for me to be filled with God’s Spirit, I must be emptied of myself and allow God to cleanse me — to forgive me of my sins and to transform my mind and behavior to be pleasing to Him.

Now that’s a task in and of itself — an ongoing task that lasts a lifetime. It’s worthy of more space than I’m giving it here. I’m not giving it more space simply because it wasn’t what God was impressing upon me Sunday, but to not mention it just seems wrong, and to not pursue it is to lack the intimate relationship with God that those pursuing Him desire.

What struck me the most last Sunday was the phrase “Don’t put the lid on too soon.” I kept hearing it over and over in my mind. God is saying that He wants to pour out His Spirit, but that too often we get just a little of it and then for whatever reason, say “That’s enough, thank you.” God’s desire is to continually fill us to overflowing. We’re the ones who pull back and in so doing, we miss the blessing He has for us and for those around us. We miss the intimacy with Him; we miss walking in His power and wisdom; we miss His peace and rest.

Why do we put the lid on too soon? Why do we stop the filling process before the tank is full? I’m sure it’s usually done unconsciously, and to change unconscious actions, we must first be aware of them. Lord, reveal the areas within me that causes me to close myself off to the outpouring of Your Spirit.

I’ve been cogitating on this for the past few days and have come up with a couple of reasons why people put the lid on too soon. Maybe some of them will strike a chord with you.

Sometimes we put the lid on too soon simply because we’re too easily satisfied — we get a taste of God’s goodness and don’t understand or realize that there’s so much more. Trust me, there’s more. There’s always more with God because He is everything good to an infinite degree. But we become content with things as they are (after all, they’re way better than they were before) and our unholy contentment puts a lid on our spirits, stopping the flow of God’s Spirit in our lives.

Sometimes we put the lid on too soon because our priorities are a bit messed up. We’re all really busy. It’s how we live. Next Sunday a business organization I’m affiliated with is having their picnic at noon. Now that strikes me as just plain wrong, especially since I know many of the other members are regular church-goers, but I’m new to the organization and it’s too soon to rock the boat by suggesting we start an hour later. So I’m going, but I’m committed to going late. But I know that it will be difficult for me to put it totally out of my mind on Sunday. On Wednesday nights, we are rushing from work, grabbing something to eat and rushing to church. It can be difficult to arrive at church ready to receive from God and/or not being aware (consciously or unconsciously) of all the things that need to be done after church and before bed. In other words…as horrible as it is to say and hear, sometimes we put the lid on because we’re too busy to receive (another thing) from God. God is merciful and breaks through our busyness at times, but continual over-scheduling pushes the lid closed until there’s only a small crack of an opening for God to trickle His grace through.

Sometimes we put the lid on too soon because we don’t want the “mess” of the overflow. I hate to admit this, but sometimes we just don’t want to be the “peculiar” people that God has called us to be. We’re afraid that if He really pours His Spirit out on us we’ll become too religious, too holy, too fanatical, too weird. The truth is that God’s Spirit moves us away from “religious” and toward Christ-likeness, and Christ-likeness is anything but too holy, fanatical and weird. However, we need to get past this fear by becoming totally willing to become those things for God(regardless of how inaccurate they are in our minds). What sets the lid to wide open is our willingness to do and be anything that God wants us to do and be, and until we come to that place, our lids will always tend toward closing too soon.

I’m reminded of a vacation Phil and I took many years ago. We visited Dunn’s River Falls in Jamaica. It’s a beautiful location and as we waded into the water at the bottom of the falls, our guide suggested we stop for a picture. He posed us and snapped a few shots, then told us to take one step backwards. Being obedient tourists, we did so…not realizing that one step back put us under the full spray of the falls. We were instantly soaked and it was great fun. But there were others who saw what happened to us and were cautious. Maybe they didn’t want to get their clothes soaked or their hair messed. Maybe they didn’t want to feel out of control. Maybe they didn’t want to have that much fun on that day. Lord, I want to have fun with You every day. I don’t care if my clothes get soaked or my hair gets messed or that I feel out of control. Pour out Your Spirit and help me to not put the lid on too soon.

  ⁴⁰The people of Israel had lived in Egypt for 430 years.⁴¹In fact, it was on the last day of the 430th year that all the LORD’S forces left the land.⁴²This night had been reserved by the LORD to bring his people out from the land of Egypt, so this same night now belongs to him. It must be celebrated every year, from generation to generation, to remember the LORD’S deliverance.
                                                  Exodus 12:40-42

God had reserved that specific night as the night of deliverance for His people. God has reserved specific times for our deliverance. If you’re going through a trial, know that God has set aside a specific time for your deliverance. If you’re in bondage to some situation, know that God has set aside a specific time for your deliverance. Like the Israelites, be looking toward God and praying for your deliverance. Be obedient in the interim, but know that He has not abandoned you, any more than He abandoned the Israelites.

I’l bet many of you know Jeremiah 17:7-8. It’s an often quoted passage. I love to read it.

But blessed is the man who trusts in the LORD, whose confidence is in him. He will be like a tree planted by the water that sends out its roots by the stream. It does not fear when heat comes; its leaves are always green. It has no worries in a year of drought and never fails to bear fruit. (NIV)

Did you know that it follows Jeremiah 17:5-6? I’m guessing maybe you didn’t. Or at least you don’t know verses 5 and 6 as well as you know verses 7 and 8.

This is what the LORD says: “Cursed is the one who trusts in man, who depends on flesh for his strength and whose heart turns away from the LORD. He will be like a bush in the wastelands; he will not see prosperity when it comes. He will dwell in the parched places of the desert, in a salt land where no one lives. (NIV)

This is not the only place in Scripture where God clearly lays out the basis for blessings and curses. I’m so thankful He does that. He doesn’t make me wonder what it takes to gain His approval. And He doesn’t bury His instructions in the middle of complicated discussions I can’t understand. He says simply “This is what the Lord says: ‘Cursed is the one who trusts in man…But blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord…”

Such a simple statement…sometimes so hard to implement. I’m afraid that I put my trust in mere humans more often than I think. I may not consciously turn my heart from the Lord, but there is a subtleness to turning our hearts away from God and toward humans or things humans have made that creeps into my daily life.

When I need to finish a work project before the end of the day am I trusting in my own strength or am I trusting in the Lord? When I have to see a doctor, am I trusting in the doctor or in the Lord? Don’t hear what I’m not saying. I’m not suggesting that I don’t work hard to finish the project or that I don’t see a doctor when I’m sick. But even doing those things, I can have an attitude of trusting God or trusting in man.

What keeps this attitude alive in you from day to day, moment to moment? Here’s 7 ideas. Pick one or two and begin to practice or work on improving in that area:

1. Start every day by greeting the Lord and acknowledging Him as sovereign over all that will happen that day.
2. Train yourself to pray often — when things are going well and when things are falling apart. Quick sentence prayers connect you to God on an ongoing basis.
3. Put things in front of you that will remind you to look to God. That might be a note in your DayTimer or on your bathroom mirror, a screensaver on your computer, or a bracelet around your wrist. Use anything that will remind you to seek God.
4. Learn to see God at work and in nature. Learning to see Him requires looking for him, so train yourself to look for Him by pausing several times to look around and ask God to reveal Himself to you in your surroundings. (Yes, that means pausing from your busy-ness.)
5. Read about spiritual formation and spiritual disciplines. Try any of these books: The Practice of the Presence of God by Brother Lawrence. There’s an updated version in modern English. The Life You’ve Always Wanted: Spiritual Disciplines for Ordinary People by John Ortberg Celebration of Disciplines: The Path to Spiritual Growth by Richard Foster The Pursuit of God by A.W. Tozer
6. Stop reading and practice what you’re learning!
7. Be grateful. I think grateful goes beyond thankful. It’s easy to be thankful but grateful goes all the way to the heart. The difference in the definition of these two words in the Merriam-Webster online dictionary (www.m-w.com/dictionary/) is interesting. Here’s an example:

• thankful: conscious of benefit received
• grateful: appreciative of benefits received b: expressing gratitude
• Additional definitions carry the same theme — thankful is a consciousness of benefits while grateful is an appreciation of benefits. I want to not only be thankful for what God has done, is doing and will do; I want also to be grateful.

I love the illustration God uses earlier in Jeremiah: “As a belt clings to a person’s waist, so I created Judah and Israel to cling to me,” says the LORD.” (Jeremiah 13:11a, NLT).

Lord, we were created to cling to You. Help me to cling to You every minute of every day!

Let me know if there are things you’d add to my list of 7. Which of the 7 is easiest for you? Which is most difficult?